God is still good

We are all well aware of the fact that our world is on a state of disfunction. This is sadly a reality of living in a world with an enemy who lives and thrives on brokenness, hatred, dissension, and pain.

Dissension is the biggest one being brought to the forefront. No one is able to turn anywhere without seeing it. Dissension is absolutely everywhere. 

Every day it seems that a new story comes out that has strong feelings and beliefs on both sides. The next more astonishing than the one before. With each of these stories the wedge is being driven down further and further. 

We see many whom we love in heated debates, arguments even over subjects that, in the end, likely won't directly effect them or anyone they know. These fights leave every party exhausted, always on the brink of defeat, bruised and even more broken than before. So many of us want to make their point known with little interest in having civil conversations about it and actually listening to another viewpoint.

Our country is so polarized over everything it possibly could be. It is literally killing us from the inside out. 

Heres the thing though. These are wars that we were never meant to fight. They are not ours to fight. God is fighting and will continue to fight until He has won.

We are called to many things and arguing over worldly happenings is not one of them.

Where there is brokenness we are called into restoration.
Where there is hatred we are called to love.
Where there is fear we are called to have faith.
Where there is dissension, we are called to seek peace and unity.
Where there is pain, we are called to the Healer.
Where there is Satan, we are to call upon God to usher in. To redeem and restore what is already His.

This is not how the world was ever meant to be, but being a Christian in this world we don't need to fear. We are told in John 16:33 "...in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." No matter how ugly this world gets we can take heart because God has already conquered anything we will encounter.

Weed or flower?

It had been a thought for quite a while. One that would occasionally wander through my head to be pondered on briefly but not really given much thought. At least not until someone else (a fellow believer, friend, mom and seeker) voiced it. Putting the words out there that had been resonating in my heart, mind, and soul. 

"I'm on a journey to figure out who I am outside of mom, wife, ect."

There it was, on the table, my bleeding heart. Or at least I felt like it was laying out there. I respond in agreement to the difficulty and voicing my own need for the same.

Since then self discovery has been on the forefront of my mind. Who am I, really? How do I really enjoy spending my time? What is truly important to me? The list could go in forever.

As I began to scratch the surface, I realized that I don't have an answer for even the most basic questions. The ones that are typically asked in the "getting to know you" challenges. To be fully honest, the reason I struggle answering most of these basic questions is because I've been a chameleon for far too long. 

I've been the relaxed, go-with-the-flow, unopinionated type for most of my life. Mainly to get people to like me or to make myself feel as though I belong with certain groups of people. 

What ended up happening is that I lost who I am and ho I've been crated to be. The things I actually  like, enjoy and want. Whether it be for me, my family or my friends. I have cheapened who I really am in efforts to feel like I belong. Efforts that have failed me time and time again. 

Not anymore though. I am committing myself to finding me. Digging deep into my heart and soul to discover everything about myself. From the most simple aspects (favorite things) to the more complex and challenging(short and long term goals). 

It starts here and now. 

The other night, I found myself praying over all this. I remember asking for a symbol that I could use to remind me of this journey. Something that would remind me of all I have been, all that I currently am and all that I'm meant to be. 

As I drift off I hear a word. It comes ever so quietly. 

In the stillness of all I am. Gently... 

...Dandelion...

It's still on my mind when I wake. So I begin to dig into this word. As I research I'm flooded with memories distant and as recent as last week. Visions of fields of dandelions dancing in the wind. Analogies start whipping around left and right in my mind. I continue to read about them and it starts to root further. This simple word, a simple flower was the direct answer to my prayer.

Then I turned my phone face down on the couch and looked at the case I've seen a hundred times. I find myself dumbfounded as I look at it. It seems as of this concept has been brewing in my heart longer than I realized.

This solidified the answer even more. 

Dandelions are what best represents me. Everything I've been, everything I am, everything I hope to become. 

I just pray that my seeds scatter as far and as effectively as those on a single dandelion.

Reawakened

Sometimes I find that in the search for what I feel matters, I lose sight of what really matters. My focus is on that which leaves feeling of satisfaction and warm fuzzies, not so much on reaching the heart. While my words often say one thing, actions prove another.

Just over a week ago I was privileged to see a concert. Walking in I was feeling stressed, rushed, and quite honestly, not wanting to be there. Something deep down urged my feet to keep walking. Into the sanctuary where the intro band had already started.

The band playing ushered in an atmosphere of worship. It was in that time that slowly but surely the weight began to fall away. Being replaced, ever so delicately by something light, freeing and refreshing.

As the bands came and went the worship continued. One song in particular brought brand new perspective of worship. It was in this that I discovered worship in a different light.

You see, one of my best friends and I were here together. This year really hasn't treated her well. The band explained, as in the video above, where this song came from and why it was so important. It was in this moment that a revelation was brought forth. This song in particular taught me, again, how to really support someone in the midst of the toughest trials they may face.

After 2 words of this song, we fell together, both in tears. One praying the words of the song personally, the other pouring the words in support. As the song ended, I felt a new stirring in my heart. Tonight would set a change in the demeanor of my heart.

I've always been an extremely empathetic person. Often deeply feeling the emotions and experiences of others. This part of me had dulled over time. At this concert, this side of me was opened back up.

Later on we worshipped together to another song and instead of proclaiming these things true in my life, I found myself singing in agreement. Proclaiming these truths over someone else. In agreement we lifted our eyes, ears and hearts to our Creator believing that He has before, He still can and He will.

It leaves me thinking about the times I claim to believe things to be true but then my follow through doesn't live up. The times that because someone doesn't fit in my life a certain way that I've just brushed them and their concerns off. When someone comes to me and I fail to really hear what is being expressed.

While I believe boundaries are good, and often necessary, how many times do we miss an opportunity because we're to hurried to see passed our current situation? What about the times we can't get passed our temporary set backs to really look into where someone finds themselves?

Happy New Year

It is now 2018. I hope that today we are all feeling energized, hopeful, determined. We can put to rest the negative and push ahead with positivity and grace. For ourselves. For those we encounter.

A few weeks back I heard a word. It came as a gentle whisper. Fleeting away as quickly as it came. Several more times in the last few weeks it continued to come and go. A little stronger and louder each time.

One day I log into Instagram and a dear friend has shared a photo of a book. The title of the book is the very word that I'd been hearing. Confirmation that this word was to be my challenge for the year.

2018 will be a year to nourish. Nourish every aspect of who I am. Challenging myself to make diligent choices as to what goes in. Whether it be physically through what I eat or how I move. Spiritually through spending time each day in scriptures and praying. Mentally through what I choose to listen to, watch and read. Emotionally through how I filter my thoughts and feelings.

Yes, 2018 will be a good year. Nourishing the positive and starving the negative.

As I began to dig deeper into what nourish would look like, I kept falling on this verse Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” -Luke 1:45. I am believing that if I am faithful to nourish myself in Him and His word that He will meet me in new ways.

What are you hoping to accomplish throughout 2018?