The New Calendar

For Christmas, a colleague gave us a desktop calendar and a monthly planner. I kept looking at the blank, clean, uncluttered calendar and thinking, when does it become so busy?

Slowly that's how.

Little by little we begin to add things to the calendar. We add in the birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and the like. Then comes the daily agendas. Everything from work (or days off from work), appointments (personal and family), commitments (be it business, personal, religious, ect).

After all those things are added in, our calendar is no longer clean, fresh, open. It becomes cluttered, used, worn and tattered. After each month is gone, we rip the page off from the rest and start the process all over again. Never giving a second thought to where that month went.

What would happen if we held on to those old, ratty pages? What if we wrote down all the big, life changing moments? As well as the seemingly small, not-so-significant ones?

How much different would 2014 look if we slowed down, if we took each day as a chance to make a difference in this world, if we decided to let every day be:

Post Holiday Hole

The celebrations are done. They're over. The hustle and bustle behind. It's all a memory now.

But what memories will remain? Will they be good ones? Sour ones? Or just indifferent ones?

Oh this season was good to us. Extremely good. We are/were blessed beyond comprehension.

With everything said and done, there's a hole. Sitting in the glow of the tree, tears brimming the eyes. And I'm not quite sure where to start with the feelings.

So much floating around in my mind. Making it hard to concentrate. Hard to decipher. Slower days ahead should help.

This post holiday hole leaves us with a feeling of emptiness, dissatisfaction, and often grumpiness. Instead of favoring the good, the fun, the bonding, we walk away in a slump. Like all we want to do is break down, hide, or stay hidden away next time.

Is it our expectations that leave us feeling this way? The things people do/ say, or what they don't do/say? Is it the commercialism? Or could it just be our current circumstances bring us down.

Yes, Christmas just ended, but why does our joy, our advent, our generosity, our attitudes have to change? Aren't we called, as His followers, to always be gracious, generous, joyful, and loving? Why is it so easy to do this in the days that lay between thanksgiving and Christmas, only to return to the glum, apathetic, monotonous view on life that we had before?

My challenge for us is to treat every day as Christmas. In light of my last post, I am going to start completely over with my gifts list. Hoping to change my perspective, to keep every day as something new and exciting rather than old and boring. I'm going to take a page out of my own advice book and shoot for 3 gifts added to the list a day.

How about you? Do you need to keep a little bit of the holiday excitement in your heart everyday? What helps you to do this?

Busy Behind Me

Busy.

That one word is often the most common adjective you'll hear me use when someone asks how things are.

Busy.

That one word that I do not like to have to use to describe this time.

Busy

That is not the way I planned for 2013 to be.

Busy

That should not be the only word that comes to mind when I'm asked how things are.

I want life to be full not busy. Not just full to be full, but full -the way the gospel describes it.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
John 10:10

It's time to look toward the One who can show me what this fullness looks like in and around me. Instead of trying to force things to happen, I will turn to the one who made everything and has a time set for the things we desire.

In 2014, I will look for the noble in the everyday mundane of life. I will look for the beauty in the ugly of life. I will look for the magnificent, that is the life I've been given.

This means that sometimes I will have to say no to something that would make my plate too full, no matter how much anticipation I had for it. It means allowing myself to say yes to down time, to alone time, to quiet time. It means using wisdom, prayer and patience to know the things He wants me to be involved in.

For 2014, my word will be magnificent. A challenge to remind myself to slow down and make each day count. To remind myself to breathe. To remind myself to take in the beauty around me.

Doubtful or expectant?

As we ring in this new month. There's a celebration that happens across the world. The celebration of advent.

The past few years I've heard of this tradition, but never did I truly grasp what it is meant for. I simply passed it off as just another tradition. Something boring. Something stale. Something overdone.

Until this morning, that is. I heard a phrase that brought a new description of the term advent.

"Advent is an act of intentional patience."

My thought was this why in the world would you willingly want to wait.

Then I really thought about it. Most of 2012 was spent in anticipation, i.e. waiting. This year has been a season of waiting for change. Next year is looking to be a season of adjustments. In all of this, we are waiting.

So this year, I am looking to define advent for myself. This mornings sermon focused on Zacharias and Mary. The true start to Christ's first coming.

While they both questioned the news from the angel, what laid behind the questioning was drastically different. Their attitude. Zacharias' was one of doubt and disbelief. Mary's was one of expectancy, excitement and belief.
Which explains why one became mute, an the other did not.

Even though they both questioned, it was the heart behind the questioning that God looked at. This is what He still does today.

So we were challenged. How am I asking God during my waiting? With doubt, like Zachariah? Or with expectation, like Mary? How can I lean into Jesus during my period of waiting, instead of having it pull us away from Him?

We were also encouraged to remember, in our time of waiting, that it was at just the right moment God sent Jesus.

The end...

...of our first holidays with our little man. I wouldn't have even thought of it. When I saw the title on a discussion thread on a forum I flow, it brought a twinge of sadness. Today, Thanksgiving 2013 is the last first holiday we have as a family of 3. It feels so weird to think of it that way. It puts a large period at the end of the year.

There is one more first to celebrate before years end. That is his first birthday. It's hard to believe year one of this journey is wrapping up. To think our little guy went from this:



To this



He's grown so much. We've grown so much. There's been a lot of change. A lot of going with our guts. Going against the grain. Striving to teach our son the best. Daily wondering if we're doing it well. Watching in amazement as he grows and learns and SHARES with us.

While I am sure, there is still a long list of firsts in our future, it's still hard.

With all this, I am ever reminded to live IN the moment. Take pictures at every chance (no matter what complaints come from the peanut gallery). To choose to enjoy each and every experience.

As much as this saddens me , it excites me to some extent. You see, the past month we have gotten bigger glimpses into his personality. He LOVES to share...everything...with everyone (pets included). He's very loving and friendly. Stubborn...that was a given though. Little guy is absolutely hilarious. Such a bundle of joy, daily.

That's what I need to focus on. I can't stop him from getting older. Getting bigger. Developing more skills. But I can enjoy them. Encourage him. Teach him.

One chapter ends....

And another begins.

Today, I closed a chapter in life.
Today, I say good bye to a job that has had it's ups and it's downs.
Today, I trade a familiar job for something different.
Today, marked the end of daily time spent with clients who I have invested in over the past 2.5 years....
...and they into me.
Today, a few people cease to be coworkers...
...and morph into friends.

Tomorrow will be spent thanking God for all He's done in my life in the past year.

He's brought my family together...to the point of weekly (almost) dinners together.
He has given me a new role, one I am still learning.
He's allowed friendships to crumble, only to rebuild to be better, stronger.
He's given new, deeper meaning to other relationships.
He's allowed my Dad to not only meet, but have a strong bond with my son.
Although we still struggle, he's blessed our marriage.
He's given us a support system beyond our wildest dreams.
He's added to our family two new lives in 11 short months.

This weekend, will be focused on family. Not just family by birth, but the family that is made up of friends. This weekend, is the start to an extremely holiday season. This weekend starts new traditions.

Saturday, my love celebrates his birthday. It will be our 8 one together. His first as a daddy.

Monday a new chapter opens.
I'll walk into a new building. With new coworkers. With new clients. With a new role.

While similar to the chapter that closed this afternoon, I cannot wait to see what new ventures lie ahead. God's keeping me in this field for a reason, and I look forward to the journey that I'm on.

With all that said.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

4 Quadrants

Last night, at our small group we began discussing this diagram. 90% of the group stated they were in the cozy quadrant. A few in the stressful quadrant. Even less in the bored quadrant. And no one in the empowered quadrant.

I, myself, fell in with the few who said stressful. As I said last time, my life is lacking balance. As much as I thrive off of balance, I just can't seem to get it yet. I find myself feeling like there is so much on my plate, yet I'm unable to control/remove any of it. Everything from being a wife, a mother, a full-time employee, and on and on.

I feel/hope/pray this stressful period is about ready to come to a head and then I'll be able to move into the next season. All it is going to take is one step. One move. One transition. One that I see on the horizon. One that I am trying oh do hard to be patient to arrive.

Until then, I feel that prioritization is to be the tool I need to use. First needs to come my time with God. It doesn't matter so much what it looks like, as long as it happens...daily. Next is my family, I need to remember to put them rich below God, or else time with them becomes shallow or unfulfilling. After that work, while I need to give my all to the place God has me, I also need to remember that God is who I am working for, not this around me.

I truly believe that if I can get those three things into perspective, then I will be able to get the rest of life into perspective as well. As for this blog, I'm not gonna stress about posting. When I have the urge to write I will write.

So that's where I am right now.

Consistency soon? Let's hope.

It's with sadness I realize my goal of consistently writing here is still far fetched. Everything that was on my plate is still there.

Motherhood.



More amazing each day. Every day, a little more of his personality comes out. Each time I see him, I get a great big smile. Every few days, new words emerge. Oh and the sweetest, newest thing, blowing kisses. With the mmmmmuah sound and all. Oh how I love it.

Wifedom. I feel like I'm slacking, but my love says I'm doing well. So I guess I either need to change my viewpoint or I need to put a little more work work in so I feel I'm doing well too. More to come on that.

Employee. For each of us, when it comes to where we're working, there comes a time when you just know its time to start looking. For me, it's becoming more evident each passing day. So I'll continue putting in apps, believing beyond a shadow of a doubt that God will put/keep me where he wants me. For now, I will go in each day, give my clients my all and do the job to the best of my abilities.

Child of God. Getting better. Not where I want to be, but better. Baby steps. They might not get me anywhere fast, but they'll create concrete habits.

This could go on and on forever if I listed each and every title/section of life. If I were to put it into one word, that word would probably be exhausted.

Over the next several weeks/months, I plan to make baby steps to help with that. The first one is going to be spiritually. While I am doing better, I need more consistency. Hello mornings has helped SO much this time around. I need to focus more here, especially in the prayer aspect.

Into Marvelous Light

Has it really been a month since my last post? *goes back and rechecks the date* It sure has.

With many tugs, I find myself back here. To write. To love. To share.

Many times in the past week I have sat down to write. I sit and try to type, but find my heart distracted. Unsure where to start. There was simply too much distracting me.

First off, props to those fellow moms. The ones with kids and still can find the time to consistently write. I pray for that to happen, but haven't found the groove yet.

Secondly. The distractions. All of them. From financial issues, to medical issues, to work and looking for possibly a different work path, to marriage, to my quiet time, to every other thing that is on my plate and is slipping my mind. I can't seem to get away from them. A much as I try, they haunt me.

Third, the launch. The launch of Impact Community Church. After much planning, praying, prepping, we hit the ground running today.

I'm convinced the third thing in the list is the reason for most of the things in the second. In fact, I can almost guarantee it. As we have an enemy who loves to strike right when we're on the verge of something big for God. Something that is right in line with His plan.

The last 7-10 days have been absolutely crazy. First my body starts acting strange, after some conversations and research I know what's going on. Then to discover little man needs a CT scan to see if he needs to have surgery before getting a helmet as his head still has quite the flat spot. The news from a loved one that includes further treatments in hopes of preventing things from getting worse. All of this on top of prolonged financial issues has put quite the strain on us as of late.

BUT we have a God who is bigger. A God who is stronger. A God who will prevail.

My hopes are to get back to this consistently soon, but I simply cannot make those promises. Not between appointments which should be set up soon, to all the possibilities that would bring. The emotions linked with every single thing going on are already running high. Honestly, they have been for quite some time.

So my request is simply this, that if you think of us, whenever you do, you simply say a short prayer. Even if all that comes to mind is "God help them" or something along those lines. It would be greatly appreciated.

Off Kilter

around here lately, there has been SO much going on. too much some days.

Between a schedule change at work (finally), keeping up with a wee one, finding time to be a couple, being involved in a church plant (launch is SOOO close), finding ways to keep connected to friends, horribly failing to keep the apartment clean, and on and on, lets just say making time for the things I loved doing before all this (and still love and miss terribly) has been near impossible.

So here this place sits. Without a post. For days, weeks, sometimes months on end. Sadly. Lonely. Unfortunately. I so love sharing this space with all of you.

With this time of transition things have just been off. Like I'm kinda floating in space watching everything go on around me, and it's all going so quickly. Some days I feel like I'm in a fog, that it's all a dream.

I love being a mommy. Although, I don't feel like it has come as naturally as I was hoping, it is a job I know I am privileged to be able to claim. The challenges that come with it have been more than I could imagine. Then again, so has all the laughter and the smiles.

Being a good friend has been set on the back burner, I feel. I am not quite as readily available for my friends as I once was. It's not something I like, but it is something that I have learned to adapt to. Once I do have the time, I often lack the brain power to sustain meaningful, deep, real conversations.

A wife. That is another facet of who I am. Another area that, while it comes naturally and we finally have the same schedule, I tend to not have made this a priority. Again, wife, a title I wear proudly, confidently, humbly. However, it is a title I feel like I am lacking to live up to in none-the-less.

What do all these have in common? The way I love. 

Last weekend literally everything I heard, everywhere I went, every conversation was focused on LOVE. Not just any love but God's love. Not just anything having to do with His love. But a question:

What is the message I am displaying when it comes to His love?
Are there people in my life that aren't hearing the gospel of Jesus because of me?

Yeah...ouch. Then a challenge came about...what do I need to put on the back burner in order to show his love to those I encounter every day?

But for me, it wasn't about putting something on the back burner. As we were sitting there I felt the conviction. I knew that I needed to share. The longer we talked, the more the Spirit pressed. It was then I realized that for me, it was all about taking something off the back burner and placing it back where it needed to be.

My job, as much as I love it, takes all I have. Mentally, emotionally, physically, and yes, even spiritually. It was becoming abundantly clear that giving my all at work has been shorting the people I love more than I am comfortable with. By the time I would get home I was exhausted, my brain was much, my patience was shot, my attention span was gone, I was done for the day.

All of this was lead me to being short, defensive, easily agitated, and snappy with the guys in my house. I was seeing snippets of the weeks prior of reactions, conversations and such that I'd displayed, and I found myself disgusted with myself. For me, the challenged boiled down to loving my family better.

Learning how to give my all at work, but still leave the best of me for my guys at home. I need not short them because of the demands of my job. The task seemed (and still seems) impossible but I know that there is One who will give me the strength to succeed. All I need to do is rely upon Him.

So I ask you friend, to look over these questions...these challenges...examine your heart and be honest with yourself about the answers.

What is the message I am displaying when it comes to His love?
Are there people in my life that aren't hearing the gospel of Jesus because of me?
What do I need to put on the back burner in order to show his love to those I encounter every day?

Unexpected

Today we say an unexpected good bye. To a man who needed few words. Though he didn't speak much, when he did, they impacted many. We say good bye to a man who was a rock for many. A man who was so capable of showing love by simply giving a smile your way. His compassion for others not measurable. How do I know these things of a man I've only spoken to a handful of times?  Because I saw it in his actions. I hear it in the words others have shared of him. The stories friends have shared.

As we look back, I see a missed opportunity on my end. The chance to know and learn from a wise man. So many times I walked passed him at church we'd exchange a smile, an acknowledgement of the other.

Barry, although we didn't speak often, the impact you have made on my life has been more than you'll know. You're impact on those around you is greater than anyone can even explain. Even to those to whom you didn't speak. We will realize many times over at exactly what you're passing will change in our lives.

Our comfort is this: knowing you are out of pain. Even more, knowing you are sitting in Glory just waiting for those you love to join you. 

Barry, you were a great man. You will be missed by many.

Woah...

...has there been a lot going on around here.

In the past month we have had quite a few milestones come along in life.

First, our dear little one celebrated (err...well hit) his six month birthday. It seems like just yesterday we were at the hospital anxiously awaiting that sweet face to appear. Now, he is the happiest, most handsome, strange-but-perfect mix of his dad and me. He is attempting to army crawl...right now it just looks like he's swimming on the floor. He has mastered sitting, but not how to get to or out of the sitting position on his own. He says mama, dada, baba, papa, and has started waving bye bye.

The last couple months, a friend and I had decided to take a break from our weekly meetings. Feeling, perhaps, that phase of our relationship was done. Little did we know that God had bigger plans and it was truly, just a short break. I am extremely excited to start meeting with her again. God works in mysterious ways.

Just this week, I started a different position. The same company. The same job title. A different function of the job. I am now working 8a-4p. The hubs works 8a-5p so my 1p-9p shift just wasn't working anymore. I'd been looking for a solution to this issue, and little did I know that a transfer would be all it took. I am still able to see 3-5 of the 8 clients I had been working with almost every day. The best part of it all? I AM FINALLY ON DAYS!

Over the last six months, we have been a part of a team who has set out to plant a church later this summer. So Sundays have been church filled, both the church which we have been attending (Level 13) for several years and then the meetings for the new church (Impact Community). It's crazy to think that this last Sunday, June 23 marked the last Sunday that those of us committed to ICC would be joining the L13 body in community worship for a while. What a service it was too. Now, we are just six weeks out from launch and that just seems insane to me. I am excited yet overwhelmed all at the same time.

And now to end, pictures of his progress from birth to current...

[caption id="attachment_808" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Just born[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1331" align="aligncenter" width="225"] One month[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1333" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Two months[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1334" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Six months[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1330" align="aligncenter" width="225"] This was taken today[/caption]

Where?!?

Where has time gone. It feels like just yesterday I was in the hospital with my husband and my sister. All of us anxiously awaiting an arrival. The arrival we'd all been preparing for.

And oh what an arrival it was.



It's already been 6 months. The little one who couldn't even recognize us by sight is now able to do so. Not only that but he's STOKED when he sees us. We may or may not be having slight problems with separation anxiety. ;)



This child who could only move by us picking him up and carrying him is rolling and scooting himself everywhere.

The little man who was completely dependent on us...for everything, is already gaining whatever independence he can.

Six months ago, our lives were interrupted, in the best possible way.

Six months ago, love exploded into our life in only a way a child can bring it.

Six months ago, our family was even more complete.

Six months ago, we realized just how deep love and amazement can go.

Liebster Award

Disclaimer: If you subscribe by e-mail and happened to get this post multiple times, I apologize. I hit publish once, but my internet was acting up and seems to have sent this to you multiple times.

Okay, Okay...I have now been nominated TWICE for a liebster award...so I guess now is the best time to accept...don't ya think? Yeah, me too.

First off...HUGE thanks go out to my BBC-Birth-Board-Blogging-Momma, Lina over at Eccentric Chai and also to Nikki over at Simply Striving (who nominated me WAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY back in August...slacker much?!)...so None the less Let's get to this.

What is the Liebster Award?

The German word Liebster (pronounced LEEB-ster) means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome.

The Liebster Award is given to upcoming bloggers who have less than 200 followers.

11 Random Facts about me

1) I have hazel eyes that are mood rings. If you know me well enough...my eyes will tell all...even things that I'm trying to hide.

2) I am a natural introvert. However, you wouldn't be able to tell if you meet me. I work very hard to be outgoing and to connect with others, but i will be very exhausted by the time I get home.

3) I have an amazing family. Both the one I was born into and the one that my husband and I have just started building together.

4) My family may be dysfunctional, but we are ALWAYS there for each other.

5) The name of my blog comes from the meaning of my name (Amy=Beloved) and my desire for my life to be a constant pursuit after my Creator and what He has for me.

6) I have  dreams that I believe will one day come to fruition, but I have to do the work now in order for those things to become a reality in the future.

7) My life verse is Galatians 1:10 which says:

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

8) The latest journey we are on (besides the biggie--parenting) is joining in on launching a church in a smaller town near us.

9) I love to read--but rarely have the time anymore.

10) My radio is almost always on Christian music...although we have a new station that plays strictly 90's music that seems to be catching my ear from time to time.

11) I absolutely LOVE to being a mommy.  I absolutely struggle with the fact that I am a working mommy.

11 questions for me to answer (From Lina):

1. What made you start your blog?

I felt a pull to write. There were some things that I was working through and writing it...just getting it out helps me to decipher everything better. {Looking back} I believe that I was called to write in order to find a sanctuary with people who have the same heart for God and writing that I have.

2. Where’s your favorite place to “create”?

Usually on my couch...although I've found down times at work when I can physically write on paper does wonders for me as well.

3. What’s your favorite book? Why?

I love, love, love Francine Rivers Atonement Child. This was the first Christian Fiction that I read and I just loved how engrossed into the characters and the story line, feeling as though I was part of their lives and stories.

4. If you could meet anyone–dead or alive–who would it be?

My Grandpa on my dad's side. Yes, I met him, but he passed away when I was very very young. I don't remember him. I would love to sit and hear/see all the things I hear about from my aunts and uncles about him.

5. How do you spend a typical Saturday?

Cuddling with my husband and son. Grocery shopping. Cooking. Cleaning (although you couldn't tell right now).

6. What’s your favorite animal? Why?

I have always loved Koala's and I don't even know why. They've just always fascinated me.

7. Who was your favorite grade school teacher? Why?

I loved my fourth grade teacher, Mr. Dively. He *finally* put an end to the bullying I experienced throughout my early years of schooling.

8. What do you want to be when you “grow up”?

I would LOVE to be nothing but a stay at home mom. This is a desire I didn't even realize I had until little man came along.

9. What’s your greatest accomplishment so far?

It's a tie:

My Marriage
My Son
They are the life God has given me thus far.

10. Who do you look up to the most? Why?

I cannot pin this down to just one person. I will say the Church. The one I grew up in, the one my husband and I have been attending, and now, the one that we are taking part of starting from day 1.

11. You go into a coffee shop, Edgar Allan Poe is sitting in there with a half caff Mocha with a shot of almond. You sit across from him. What is the first thing you say?

Nothing...I'm absolutely speechless...wouldn't even know where to start.

** Rules for receiving this award:
1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Then answer the questions the tagger sent for them, plus create 11 questions for the people they’ve tagged to answer.
3. Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
4. Notify the people you have tagged.
5. No tag backs.

ANNNND If you read this blog and have less than 200 followers...you're it! It's time for you to get your name out there!

You get these questions:

What is your greatest fear?

Describe yourself in three words.

What is your favorite passage of Scripture (verse or book)?

Name something that’s on your bucket list.

Describe what a perfect day would look like to you.

What is your favorite color?

Share a brief testimony of how God is working in your life.

What is your favorite snack?

If you could live anywhere, where would that be?

Name five things that make you smile.

Why do you write?

AND GO!

RTW: Wholeness

Pursuing it with our whole being. This craving. This journey. This race. It's all we live for. It's what we've come to desire more than anything. It has become our entire focus. It is what drives us day in and day out. We just want to be whole.



If there's one thing that many, if not all of us want out of this life it is having a sense of wholeness. Unfortunately, I believe with all that I am, the wholeness that we seek, will not happen on this side of Heaven. I do believe that God will complete the work He has started in us because of this promise in Philippians 1:6:

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

So I ask this. In what do we seek wholeness? Perhaps it's our jobs. Maybe it's our family. Could it be we look for it in our material/monetary worth and/or security? How about in our circle of friends? Our position in the church? Why is it we seem to look for it in every place besides the one place that it can be found. In the arms of our creator. 

So I encourage you to ask yourself, are there places I run to thinking l will be able to find the wholeness I so deeply desire? What do I need to concentrate on when I am feeling broken, beat down, or anything besides completely whole?

So friends, will you join me in running toward the arms of our Father? To run to Him to find our completeness? Run into His arms and discover what it finally means to be whole?

RTW: Lifetime

I wake up today...well for the day...to celebrate. You see, it's been four years since I vowed my life to the man I love. It's been for years since I said forever and always. Four years ago I officially became Mrs. Kevin McCollister. This was us four years ago:



It's been quite a journey over the past four years. We've laughed a lot. We've had our struggles and trials. Many of them being in the last 12-16 months. If I could go back in time, I'd do it all again. Including all the bad times because it has just made us stronger and given us perspective in the good times. The end of last year, our lives changed forever. This is the last picture of us as a childless couple in december:



The next day, we met our little boy. Our joy in life. If it hadn't been for all those ups and downs we've experienced, I'm sure that we wouldn't be where we are now and I know that we wouldn't have him:



In four years we went from newlyweds to new parents. With hills along the way. I can honestly say, I would not change a thing.

I love you Kevin!
I love the life we have together.
I love watching you with our little Andrew.

As you said this morning:
That was a quick four years. Heres to many more...

So friends. With all the brokenness in this world. In marriages. In families. I am running to honor God in this lifetime. To  keep my marriage and family whole. I'm running to spend a lifetime with my guys. These two and, God willing, another kiddo...maybe two. As well as being the best daughter, sister and friend that I can be. To live my lifetime glorifying God in all I do. With every choice I make. With every milestone we meet.

RTW: Perfection

As the days tick on. I want to make this Running Towards What concept into a series. How long this series will last? I don't know. How many topics we'll end up covering? I can't say. All I know is the more thought I give to what I see myself and those I care about running toward, the more posts that come to mind.



As I reflected on my last post, I couldn't help but think, how many times do I chase after this worldly ideal of perfection. Running towards the need to always do the right thing, the exact right way. Striving to be the perfect example of a Christian.  Longing for the perfect body. Working toward the perfect family. Driving for what we see as the American dream, because in our minds, that is the perfect life.

Failing to remember that sometimes the best step toward perfection is to admit that we are not and allow the One who is to step into those places.

However, in those times when we're feeling less than perfect, or wishing that everything was picture perfect is when we need to grasp onto Philippians 1:6:

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

We have the guarantee that one day, probably on the other side of eternity, all this imperfection will become complete. One day, those of us whose faith is in Christ will see perfection. That is a promise that we can cling to.

Maybe, if I would be running toward a closer, more intimate relationship with my Creator who is truly perfect, then will I be able to even get a step closer to perfection. Not perfection as we see it here on earth, but perfection in an eternal sense. A sprint into the arms of Christ that I may experience even a glimpse of what wholeness can actually look like.

If there's any one topic that may fit in here, feel free to share your ideas with me. :)

Running towards what?

It's nearing running season. A time when many begin to work on themselves. They want to get healthier, to train themselves to be stronger, to push themselves, to see exactly what their body can handle. My question is this. What are we running for? Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.

This season, I, like many of you, have goals to get in shape. I have even considered taking up running as a way to achieve that goal. But then I started thinking...what is it I'm running towards. In every area of my life?

Physically
I want to start running to strengthen my entire body. To strengthen my core. To tone my legs. I want to train my body to run in hopes that it will become something that I love to do. Something that will clear my head. Something that allows me to connect with my Creator.

Emotionally
I am running toward completion. I'm running to gain complete control over my emotional state. Running to not allow them to control my mind, my mood, my attitude, or my perspective on life. With things coming up, this is going to be easier said then done.

Mentally
I'm running toward trust. Trusting God with all that may come. I'm running toward a clearer thought pattern. I'm running to learn to decipher the lies and cling to the truth. In running to declutter my mind in efforts to better hear the voice of my savior.

Spiritually
I'm running to contentment. I'm running to appreciate all that He has given me. I'm running to complete, utter, undeniable reliance on the One who carries me. I'm running into His shelter. I'm running toward an intimacy that I've never known before. I'm running toward a life of unabashed surrender. I'm running to complete trust and dependence on the Creator of all things.

How am I going to get to where I want to be? By keeping my eye on the prize. How long is this going to take? That I can't say. For some it will be a short sprint. For others, a marathon. The one thing I do know is this:

when I reach each of these victories, it will be a sweet, sweet thing.

So I ask you today friend, if you are COMPLETELY honest with yourself, what is it you are running towards?

When all you need...

...is a get away. But can't seem to find one. What is one to do?

This is the very topic I'm talking about over at Must Love God today.

Won't you join me?

[caption id="attachment_282" align="aligncenter" width="250"] Join me here today[/caption]

How are we doing? {CMA}

Last week, I posted about striving to be content in the circumstances I am in. As Satan loves to do, that is the area he's slammed into that very area of my life. I'd love to be able to say I've been able to combat his attacks successfully, but I haven't.

I have tried to steer my thoughts in directions that wouldn't lead to a breakdown, but if I'm honest, I've broken down at least 3 times this week. Almost all of them surrounding work in general. That I have to work. The stress I get from my current position. Not liking the shift I'm working. Dreams that I have, that need to be placed on hold for a while. I could go on and on.

I have been able to slow down some. Enjoy the few mornings that Andrew is actually awake before I have to leave for work. I have made some time together with Kevin, not daily, but definitely over the weekend. As well as finding the time to physically rest on days following sleepless nights.

So, this week, I am continuing on this challenge for myself. While doing so, I will be taking the time to stop and pray when I feel overwhelmed. Seek for peace in His presence. Look for His direction and reassurances that I am on the right path.

Each morning, I will work towards living in the moment. To loving the life I have been given. To seeking shelter in the safest Place I can find. Writing out my thoughts, feelings, emotions to get them down and not allow them to run me down.

So friend, how are you doing on the goals and dreams you have for your life? I'd love to hear your heart as well.

Contentment {CMA}

Our weekly Count Me Accountable link up is all about living a healthier life. Lately, I've set out with some great goals, written with determination, at least one each week. All with the hope of getting back on track. To living a healthier life. To improving myself for the benefit of myself. For the benefit of my husband. For the benefit of my son. For the benefit of every person I love.

Then it dawned on me this week. Rather He revealed to me. Before I can build upon my life to improve it, I need to be happy with my life. I need to rediscover myself. I need to learn to be content with who I am. To find peace within the situation I am in. To find the joy of being where I am at. To living in the moment. Without worries of what I should be doing. Where I should be heading. How I want to look. The size I want to be. And so on.

So my goal is to allow life to slow down  a little. To enjoy each and every phase my son is in without wondering when the sleep will come. Without desiring him to be able to do this or that. I want to enjoy this time with my family. To make and cherish the time with Kevin. To make time with him a priority over anything else that longs to take it.

Friends, it's time. It's time for me to live and love this life. Rather than trying to make it better. After all, I need to be happy with where I am. Before, when I was improving myself it was because I was happy. Because I was content. Because I was secure in who I was, where I was, despite all the chaos that was going on around me.

Now, with the challenges of being a first time mom, with all the change that comes with a new job for Kevin, plus the factor of not liking the fact that we work different shifts, I'm in the place I want to be. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.

I love my family and I want to be all there when I'm with them. So that's the place I'm going to start. After all, who wouldn't want to spend as much time with these guys as possible.

Today marks...

Three months since our little man was born. I'm absolutely enjoying being a mom. As each day goes by I'm falling harder and harder for our son. I love when he "holds my hand" (aka finger) while he's sucking down a bottle. The way he smiles when I attack his cheeks with kisses. How he talks to his papa almost every time he sees him. When he laughs with daddy. How he giggles and gets super excited while playing on his play mat.

I love all of this. But it's getting harder and harder. Harder and harder to say goodbye to go to work. Harder and harder to enjoy working when in the depths of my heart I want to be with him more. To see each step of his progress firsthand.

I believe that one day the need for me to work out of the house full time will come to an end. That one day the longing I have to be a mom who's with her child(ren) more than she is away from them. That one day, even if I can't be a full time SAHM, I will be able to go to something part time. Or better yet, something I can do from home.

I love that little guy and I am confident that those who have him while I work love him as well. And I'm sure that he enjoys his time with them as much as they enjoy theirs with him. There's still that ache within. The age that draws me to be at home with him.

Soon it will be time to look. Look into something that has more favorable hours. With the start of a good job for the hubs this week, I know I need to find something that will coordinate well with his job.

The other day, talking to a friend who has a daughter that is 4 days older than little man, I made an observation. Our little ones are a quarter of the way through their first year. It made it seem so long. Yet so short at the same time.

A quarter of a year. It's so hard to believe. That short amount of time has changed our lives forever. That amount of time has brought closeness to relationships that had long since been strained.

In three months dreams have intensified. In three months priorities have changed. In three months life has reshape. In three months you have changed in many ways. In three months growth from everyone around has skyrocketed.

It's only been three months. A quarter of a year. A tiny fraction of time. In which great things have been started.

Saturday sentiment

Saturdays are my days to relax. The day to spend some time with those I love most. Today I reflect on the past couple weeks.

They've been hard. For reasons I really can't identify. Maybe it's the lack of consistent sleep finally catching up with me. Maybe it's the waiting for a new page to turn for us (which is happening on Monday). Maybe it's the craziness that's going on at work.

Honestly, I'm almost certain it's all of these things at the same time that's seemed to have brought a cloud of smog around me.

So if it continues to be quiet around here, just know it's because I'm still trying to figure out what my new normal is. Trying to figure out how to re-balance everything so that I have the most to give to everyone I encounter-whether in person or here online.

I will be trying to establish at least a weekly post but thank you for your grace if it takes some time to get into that groove.

Focus: H2O {CMA}

Here we are for another beloved count me accountable post. I'll be linking up over with the fantastic ladies at Must Love God. We'd love to have you.

If you couldn't tell, this post is all about water. Not just physical water but spiritual water as well.



My goal is to drink at least 2, if not 3 of these bottles a day BEFORE drinking anything else. I do this in hopes of limiting the amount of calories I drink. I want to focus on changing this habit first because I believe it is the best foundation to have. If I am able to keep myself from drinking junk then it will make it easier to keep myself from eating junk later on.

Just like physical water is the foundation of physical life. There is a spiritual water that I believe to be the foundation of a healthy spiritual life.

What is this spiritual water? The Word that was given to us straight from God. Without "drinking" enough of this water each day, it is extremely hard to maintain a healthy, vibrant, growing relationship with God.

So, just as I'm striving to incorporate more physical water into my daily life, I will also be striving to incorporate more spiritual water into my daily life.



what are your goals to become a more balanced, more healthy person this week?

Lenten Journey

Today. Wednesday. February 13, 2013. Today marks the start of the Lenten journey to the celebration of Christ's resurrection. After giving myself some time to sit, think, and pray over this year's Lenten season, my quest for His call for me this year came.

Sitting at work on Friday, I was talking to a co-worker about possibly fasting from bread for Lent. You see, I found a very strong, very satisfying (physically) love affair with bread. Especially buttered toast...don't ask me why because I still don't understand it.

Just when I thought my heart was settled. I felt the nudge. The nudge to do more. The nudge to plunge into more than just what is convenient to give up.

Naturally, my mind, heart and soul went to dedicating these 40 days to the Paleo way of eating. Once again, this was familiar to me. This was something I am comfortable doing. After all, up until my journey to motherhood started, that was the lifestyle I had.

So then I felt the whisper. Daniel Fast. I dug my feet in. Then I feel my heart strings pull. Daniel Fast. I attempt to ignore it. Then the proverbial 2X4. The reminder of a journey last year. Taken with a stranger who has turned into one of the dearest friends I have.

A journey to eliminate the comfort foods. Such breakthroughs were revealed. Trust in Him built more with each passing day.

So this year friends. I am choosing to heed the call. The typical Daniel Fast is 21 days, but I am feeling called to do it the whole 40 days. With one minor difference to the traditional Daniel Fast. I will be including milk for an extra source of protein.

The goals for this fast?

1. To re-learn how to turn to Him to meet my needs before going to food


2. To trust that He will reveal Himself to me as I am faithful to follow His call


3. To get a handle on my eating habits; to become a healthier eater


4. To gain control over my habit of eating to satisfy every need


5. To break the hold that food has over me; dethroning this idol

Why do I share this? After all Jesus did say,

"Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. "But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face so that your fasting will not be noticed by men, but by your Father who is in secret ; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."  (Matthew 6:16-18)

I share this to ask you to pray with me. For my heart. For my determination. For my growth. That I might be able to resist the temptations that are sure to rise. That I will seek satisfaction in my Father rather than in food. That I will open myself up and allow my heart to be broken, reconstructed and redirected by the only One who can show me the way to go.

I thank you for partnering with me in this way.

What about you? Any way I can support you on your Lenten journey this year?

Linking up with

{FMF} Bare

Linking up today with over 200 other writers. Each week Lisa Jo selects a prompt. A one word prompt. Then we write. We write blindly for five minutes. It's always fun to join in, write my post, link up, then visit other writers. Some of my nearest and dearest friends have grown out of a FMF discovery. Won't you join us?



GO

Baring my heart is something I strive for here. As of late, there's not been a whole lot going on. Well not at least inspiration wise for this little home of mine.

The bare naked truth is, there has been a lot going on outside of this comfort zone. If I'm honest, a lot of it drains me. To the point that by the time I get my day started, I'm already exhausted. Even more so by the end of the day. Not leaving a whole lot of time for things I loved before.

I love being a mother. I love having a son. I love co-parenting with my husband. The one downside is that I find myself missing some of my old friends. My old hobbies that I used to have so much time for.

Things like my crocheting, reading, and yes, my writing. By the time I even sit down to look into this little home of mine, my mind is bare. Left with nothing more to give. Even now, my brain just feels all used up.

Leaving my heart bare on the page. Yes, that is what the point of each and every post that I write on here. Do I get into a groove, where I cannot stop talking about the same thing in every post? You bet I do. I believe that's okay...because at least I'm being real. I'm bearing my soul.

I have missed baring myself to you, my reader, my friend. I truly have. Hopefully soon, I will find the energy to do so again.

STOP

Goal refresh--part 2 {CMA}

Last week I shared on my physical goals for the year. This included my goals for weightloss and for eating. I finished with a promise of sharing my emotional, mental and spiritual goals this week.



So here it goes...

Since its the glue that binds the rest together, lets zoom in on the spiritual. On January 1st, my church started going through the one year Bible. We're calling this journey reflect. I plan to occasionally write a blog post covering my reflections from the reading.

So far, I have been reading when I can, rather than at a consistent time each day. Which, honestly, is a huge improvement to what I was doing before. With 6 week old, I have kind of found that to be easiest. I'm not one to think what's easiest is best though. You see, by doing it when I can, I don't make the time for praying like I want to, I don't usually have my worship music going, nor do I reflect on what I just read. All of these things I want to make part of my daily routine.

Once again, I am participating in the next session of HelloMornings. It starts Monday. I crashed and burned when it came to establishing a routine last session. I am praying for this to be different this time. It's too important to continue on without it. On their blog, the crew has been going through a series on transforming a night owl into a HelloMornings participant. It has been great! Each post is full of great tips and tricks.



My goals for the session that starts on Monday are to:

1. Get up no later than 9am (after my son's mid-morning feeding)


2. Start my quiet time with my prayer journal


3. Followed quickly by some worship time


4. Finishing up with bible study and reflection time.

By getting these things in place, I am hoping that this will also help me conquer many of my struggles. Including the deep rooted struggles with insecurity.

What methods work best for your quiet time?

My ABC's

A while back a friend of mine answered these questions on her blogs. A way for readers to get to know her better. I've been meaning to do the same on here. While some of you know a bit about me, others of you don't know a whole lot. So I thought this would be fun. So here it goes.

A. Age:24

B. Bed size: Queen

C. Chore that you hate: Honestly..most of them. but putting away laundry is probably the top one

D. Dogs: I wish. When we get a house we have dreams of getting a dog.

E. Essential start to your day: Cuddle time with Andrew

F. Favorite color: Yellow. Although I've been told I look the best in red and pinks.

G. Gold or Silver: Silver. Gold makes me break out.

H. Height: 5' 2"

I. Instruments you play: Violin, Viola, and a wee bit of cello

J. Job title:Group home trainer...which is essentially a house keeper, goal runner, cook, and low-grade-nurse

K. Kids: Andrew. Our surprise boy.

L. Live: Fort Wayne, Indiana

M. Mother’s name: Terri

N. Nickname: Uhhh depends on who you talk to...most recent/used---Little Mama

O. Overnight hospital stays: After giving birth.

P. Pet peeves: My generation's lack of commitment

Q. Quote from a movie: "Can I get the ball sometime tonight" ... "there your ball" Love Radio

R. Right or left handed: Left handed.

S. Siblings:3 Sisters 1 brother.

T. Time it takes you to get ready: 20 minutes...and that's only bc of the little one.

U. Ultimate Vacation:  Just about anywhere away from home. Rarely get to go on vacation. Haven't had more than 2 actual vacations my entire life.

V. Vegetable you hate: Cooked spinach...I love it fresh though!

W. What makes you run late: Oversleeping due to sporadic sleep habits with the little one.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Teeth too many times to count.

Y. Yummy food that you make: No bake cheesecake

Z. Zoo animal: Just about any baby animal

Since this post is meant to learn a little more about me... is there a question you've always wanted to ask but never knew the right time to? That time is now. I'd love to answer your questions about me. :)

New year, refreshed goals {CMA}

Well friends, it's that time again. We're restarting Count Me Accountable with a link-up at MustLoveGod. Every Thursday a group of us write about the ways we want to better our lives. Not only that but we list specific goals, and weekly we update each other on what's going on. We'd love to have you join us (just follow the link above).



Count Me Accountable. As much as I loathe it. I have also come to love it. So off I go.

All of my adolescence and adult life thus far has been spent being overweight, constantly tired, and completely insecure. After getting off to a great start by changing my eating habits and walking at least 3 days a week, I was able to go from 190 down to 174 from the start of January through the end of March. This was astronomical for me. As I had never been able to find an effective way to lose the excess weight and keep it off.

This, however, was when the game had to change for me. Two days after posting this lowest weight, I took a test. A life changing test. Two days after this milestone, I discovered that some bigger changes were taking place. I discovered that I was pregnant. I had to focus more on mental, emotional and spiritual more so than the weight side of physical.

This year, I feel like I'm starting new. I weighed in this morning at 179lbs. I am proud of this though. It would have been extremely easy to just have not cared, and gained a large amount of weight through the journey that is pregnancy. Without this community, that would have been exactly what I would have done.

My plan was to go back to my eating habits from before. This was supposed to start this past Monday. That didn't happen quite as easily as I hoped. However, I have drastically cut back, almost completely eliminated pop and other sugary drinks, as well as candy and other sugars.

My plan is to completely eliminate all the sugary drinks and the sugar-filled foods by February 1st. After that, I will see where I am at, and evaluate what needs to go next.

Next week, we'll dig into the other areas that I'm going to be working on improving. The spiritual side which is going to be the most important for me in this journey of motherhood, let alone life. As well as the Emotional and mental goals I have. Which, if the spiritual goals are in line, the other ones should fall into place naturally.

So friends, I ask, are you in?

It's been a month

It's been a month. I can't tell you for sure if it's felt like more than a month. Or if it's felt like less than a month. Or perhaps it's felt like what it has been, a month. All I know for sure is this: I have been a mommy, my husband has been a daddy, we have had a son...all statements have been true for a month.



In the past month: we have encountered countless new learning curves. We have had to adjust our schedules for our little one. We have had to be intentional about connecting as a couple. We instantly made ourselves less in favor of someone else's needs.

This month. This little boy. This initial experience with parenthood. Has changed me. My priorities. My needs. The way I love. The way I show love. The way I hear love. All this change, helps me to better understand the greatest love I've ever known. This Love, I now understand on a more intimate level than I can explain.

As reality kicks back in tomorrow. As I go back to work. To serve my clients. To attempt teaching them. To love on them. It is these changes I hope to display. It's my prayer that these clients, who are judged everywhere they go, will experience the unconditional, non-judgemental, freeing love that I am blessed to experience everyday.

Then there's the change in routine. Rather than being at home. In a routine with my little one. I will be dropping him off with his Auntie B or leaving him home with his PaPa.

While I know beyond a shadow of a doubt he'll be taken care of, loved on, spoiled...it's still going to hard. Extremely hard. You see, it's my dream to be able to be home with him. Full-time. I believe this is a yearning that will become a reality, one day. For now, I will sit waiting, trusting that one day, that dream will become a reality.

It may take days.
It may take weeks.
It may take months.
Or perhaps it'll take years.

But one day, I believe the way the past month has been, will become my reality again. I am confident of this for the simple fact that I have a God who makes dreams come true. After all, isn't this year all about trust for me?

Another year gone

Has another year come and gone already? 2012 held a lot, I mean a lot, of heart ache. For myself, my family and countless others in my circle. From miscarriages, to loss of loved ones (both expected and spontaneous), to fractured relationships, to heartbreak of all sorts. Despite all that, there was an incredible journey going on within me. Not just the one that lead up to our precious baby boy, but a journey that has begun to transform me.

Inside and Out

You know those prayers, those dangerous prayers that scares the dickens out of us to pray? The ones that everyone warns against praying? Yeah, me too. Let's say 2012 held many of those prayers in my life. While the answers that came to them were scary, the answers brought about a beauty that one could have never have dreamed about.

If you were around for the journey the past year, let me say this: THANK YOU! Your prayers, love, support and encouragement was and is more appreciated than I can even begin to explain. I love each and every one of you so much. 2013 has some great stuff in store, I'd be so blessed to have you continue this journey with me.

If you're newer around here welcome and thank you for stopping by! I would encourage you to go back and read up on some of the posts from last year. The ones on my one word "limitless" from last year contain most of the big events from the past year.

With all the progress made last year, there's still a lot left to be done. Particularly in one area. That area is trust. I went into a little more of that in this post describing my word for this year.

As I venture out to learn how trust is going to grow within me, I hope that each of you will help me through this journey. I don't expect it to be easy. I don't expect it to happen completely over night...or even come near completion this year, but I know it will be a good start. A start of a freeing journey.

I pray you'll join me.

What Are You Saying?

Social media can be a great asset for us to connect with others around us. Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the like, all offer unique ways to connect with each other. These tools are great, when used properly and put in the proper perspective in the overall big picture of this thing we call life.

My question is this: How do we, as Christians, use these tools effectively to reach out to those around us? Do we use them the same way those who aren't followers use them? Or do we use them with a goal of shining Christ's light to those around us?

While social media is a great way to update others on the recent events of our lives. A method of connecting with others who have similar tastes and hobbies. An amazing means to encourage one another, how often do we think twice before putting up a frustrated status or tweet, posting a picture of a pet peeve of ours, pinning pictures of actors/actresses?

I have a feeling that if we're really, truly, gut honest with ourselves...and others, we rarely think twice.

I can't help but stop and wonder what our unbelieving friends think when they pop into our Pinterest page and see that the most recent pins we've made are of houses and items we wish we had...more than wish, we dream about. What about those days when all we post are images of our favorite actors, actresses, or athletes...a good majority of them in less than PG clothing.

What if someone clicks into our facebook or twitter accounts? Will they see status updates, pictures, interactions with others that glorify Christ? Or will they see nothing but complaining about the bad, and bragging on ourselves when things are going well?

On instagram, do we use it to catalog our 1,000 gifts and the good things God has given us. Or do we use it to show off our latest and greatest acquisitions. Whether it be objects, clothing, or the like?

As we continue on into 2013, I am challenging myself to be more aware of the types of things I am posting. I am wanting to use social media more wisely than I have in the past. Rather than boosting myself, my ego, and my feelings, I want to use them to exalt Him, His name, and His plans.

How about you? Do you have any plans/desires for social media this year?

The best of 2012

I thought that at the start of this new year, it would be fun to link back to some of my favorite posts that I wrote in 2012. I have a few categories and I'll link a few posts with a short description under each. Won't you take this journey with me? Here are my favorite:

Personal Growth:

One of Those Days-On taking a time out to refocus, to reconnect and seek Him.
Chatting-A conversation that spurred on a dangerous prayer
FMF Acceptance-On steps to overcome a life-long struggle

Taken from media:

No One Else Knows-A dearly loved song that helps ease my insecurities every time I hear them
Worlds Apart-A song that challenges into the depths of my soul each and every listen
Still Haven't Found It-One of the few lessons from college that stuck with me

Relationships:

Pursuit of Peace-My search for peace and forgiveness after a friendship came to a hard close
FMF Friendship-Five minutes to look into what friendship has meant to me.
Rethinking Family-My goals for what I want my family to look like as my son [& future child(ren)] grow older.

Have you ever...

...had a period of time when there's this song. One song. That you can't get out of your mind?

If you know me at all, you know it happens to me quite often. In fact...there's been one song in particular that has been on my mind lately... especially as the start of the new year rolls around.

To see what it is and why...join me today over at mustlovegod.net

One Word 2013

The other day, I shared that this year isn't a typical year. While I have some goals in mind that I would like to make progress on, I don't have any traditional resolutions.

There is one new years thing that I joined in with last year that I loved. That would be choosing one word. One word to reach out and grasp a better concept of. One word to challenge myself to live up to, in a way.  Last year, that word was limitless. It was quite a journey. Here are a few snippets from that journey.

This year the word for me is:
http://i1211.photobucket.com/albums/cc427/godsbeloved110/trust_zpseb994b9e.jpg

With all the challenges, changes, and learning curves that are bound to come my way in the next year, trust is going to be key for keeping my eyes where they need to be. Trust is what will keep me from spinning out of control when uncertainties, insecurities, and fear tries to knock me down.

Trust is to believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of something or someone. Trust is a huge area of struggle in my life. It doesn't matter what or where the trust is to be placed, I almost always have a hard time allowing myself to even attempt to trust.

Ginny Owens - If You Want Me To
This song is one I've known for a long time and just rediscovered. I really think that this song will be key to help me refocus on trusting His way for me, my marriage and my family.

I have also chosen a verse to go with this word. To challenge me. To memorize. To help me remember to always trust Him above all. The verse is Psalm 31:14:

"But as for me, I trust in You, oh Lord, I say, "You are my God."

Tell me friends...have you chosen a word, phrase, song, verse to help challenge you into a more consistent walk with our Creator? If so, please share.