It's been a month. I can't tell you for sure if it's felt like more than a month. Or if it's felt like less than a month. Or perhaps it's felt like what it has been, a month. All I know for sure is this: I have been a mommy, my husband has been a daddy, we have had a son...all statements have been true for a month.
In the past month: we have encountered countless new learning curves. We have had to adjust our schedules for our little one. We have had to be intentional about connecting as a couple. We instantly made ourselves less in favor of someone else's needs.
This month. This little boy. This initial experience with parenthood. Has changed me. My priorities. My needs. The way I love. The way I show love. The way I hear love. All this change, helps me to better understand the greatest love I've ever known. This Love, I now understand on a more intimate level than I can explain.
As reality kicks back in tomorrow. As I go back to work. To serve my clients. To attempt teaching them. To love on them. It is these changes I hope to display. It's my prayer that these clients, who are judged everywhere they go, will experience the unconditional, non-judgemental, freeing love that I am blessed to experience everyday.
Then there's the change in routine. Rather than being at home. In a routine with my little one. I will be dropping him off with his Auntie B or leaving him home with his PaPa.
While I know beyond a shadow of a doubt he'll be taken care of, loved on, spoiled...it's still going to hard. Extremely hard. You see, it's my dream to be able to be home with him. Full-time. I believe this is a yearning that will become a reality, one day. For now, I will sit waiting, trusting that one day, that dream will become a reality.
It may take days.
It may take weeks.
It may take months.
Or perhaps it'll take years.
But one day, I believe the way the past month has been, will become my reality again. I am confident of this for the simple fact that I have a God who makes dreams come true. After all, isn't this year all about trust for me?
With all that has come and gone, it's time for rediscovery. This place is a step toward doing so. Time to rediscover the Lover of my soul. Rediscover the draw writing has always had on my heart. Rediscover who I am and have been made to be despite anything life throws my way. In this place we will do real, we will do fresh, we will do life-real life-together.
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