No Resolutions Here

Now is the time that we see all the annual new year resolutions. They all come in many forms. From promises to do this or that. To something we want to live up to for the year. To new habits we're committed to injecting into our lives.

I want this next year to be different. While there are things that I want to change: things I do that I don't want to...or don't do that I want to, that I end up continuing to do; Making a huge deal out of it just because it's a new year, won't necessarily make anything magically happen.

The thing that will make it happen? Accountability. Support from friends. Encouragement. Self-control. Self-discipline. Commitment...commitment to myself, to others, to my Creator.

Over the next year, I will have goals to achieve. I will still be giving updates. I will still be linking up with my sisters weekly over at Must Love God. I will be actively looking for others to join with me in my goals because I know that everything happens more efficiently within a group who has shared interests.

My goals:

• To get back to healthy eating (i.e. back to Paleo)


• To get in better shape and lose the rest of the baby weight


• To become more consistent with my daily Bible study


• To keep a personal journal of the first year of mommy-hood


• To spend as much quality time with my husband and son as possible


• To keep a better/more consistent gratitude list


• To make time for this space of mine here; to connect with all of you more consistently

While these are general for the entire year, I plan to make more specific goals as needed to achieve these over all goals. Those will come in time.

I want to invite you to help me achieve these goals. Please feel free to check in with me over the course of the year. You can do so here, over at either of my Facebook pages, or over on twitter (@AmyMcCollister).

Now, as I promised at the end of my last post...pictures of our newest addition to our house.

Introducing: Andrew

[caption id="attachment_813" align="aligncenter" width="300"] So sleepy[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_814" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Lets box[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_812" align="aligncenter" width="225"] I love you this much[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_811" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Me and my stocking[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_810" align="aligncenter" width="225"] I'm a snuggle monkey[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_809" align="aligncenter" width="300"] I like to try to eat my knuckles[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_808" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Snuggly[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_807" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Auntie B[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_806" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Head over heels in love[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_805" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Daddy's smitten[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_804" align="aligncenter" width="225"] I love my binky[/caption]

Pictures courtesy of my lovely sister...also known as Auntie B. You can find her heart here. Fair warning...she's a little more blunt than I tend to be. :)

Dear Sweet Child

You don't know it yet, but your life has already made such an impact. The crazy part is that it's only been 5 days.

In 5 short days, relationships have healed.
In 5 short days, walls have been demolished.
In 5 short days, love has blossomed.
In 5 short days, your little life has impacted many.

If the first few days of your life have been this amazing, it's going to be amazing to see what the rest of your days will bring about. You're an amazing little guy right now.

For now, we're taking this step by step. Day by day. Minute by minute. This is a new journey. For all of us.

(Pictures coming soon, I promise)

Little Man

Almost through the first week of December 2012. The counting down the days until the due date are over, now we're counting up the days we're going past the dew date. While we know he's coming in his own good time, we're both getting a little anxious to meet our little man.

We were doing fairly well until false labor sent us to the hospital with a false alarm on Monday of last week. We drove home from the hospital a little down and much, much more impatient for the day he does decide to grace our lives with his arrival.

Then we thought for sure, by comments that my doctor had made at my appointment Wednesday of last week, that we were going in the hospital yesterday at least awaiting his arrival if not finally able to meet him. That changed with the last appointment on Monday. She didn't want to higher our risk of any possible complications, which we appreciated.

Then as it turned out, it was better that we weren't going into the hospital yesterday, as it gave us the opportunity to go be with his family in their time of need. So while we did spend our day off together sitting in the waiting room of a hospital, it wasn't for the reason we thought it would be. We wouldn't change the fact that our family was able to say good bye to a family member and not feel torn between being there with him or across town with us.

Andrew knew we needed to be there for our family. As soon as I realized why the "plans" kept falling through, there was this amazing peace that settled in.

As yesterday was our due date, so it's not like we're really far over. However, both the hubs and I are ready to meet our little guy. We know that his arrival will help transform tears of sadness for several people close to us into tears of joy.

We do know we don't have any more than a week. As my doctor has already said she won't let us go past 41 weeks. We have an appointment on Monday if he's still being stubborn and we'll know more from there. So little man, whenever you're ready, we're ready for you. And so is everyone else.

Gearing up

Here we are, the last day in November. The day that marks the birth of one very important man in my life. Today, my husband turns 25. The first birthday we shared together as a couple was his 18th. When I look at him then, and who he is now, it's amazing. I've been given the privilege of watching a teenage boy turn more and more each day into the man God has created him to be.



Happy Birthday Kev! I cannot wait to see all this next year has in store for us! Including watching you hold little Andrew for the first time.

After a breather this month, I'm glad to say I'm back. Although I can't promise how regularly I'll get the opportunity to post in the next few months, I am going to try to post about once a week. Just depends on how the next couple weeks go, along with the adjustment to having a new born.

It's been a long journey this year. One that has definitely made it worth while. As the arrival of our little one approaches, I cannot be more excited. While at the same time, looking at the bigness of what raising a child means, there are definitely some nerves there too. Which is why I know that this community is gonna be huge in helping me stay the course. To keep my eyes on Him and not get bogged down and discouraged by the demands of the here and now.

Last, today is the last day of my year at www.belovedpursuit.com. At this time, I won't be renewing the URL, but I'll still be here, at wordpress. It'll just be www.belovedpursuit.wordpress.com instead. I so hope you'll continue to join me on this journey.

Relabeled 2012 Wrap up

Well, here we are at the end of October. I set out to write for 31 days straight. I ended up writing 21 days all together. So not quite what was set out for, but I'll take it. :) My plan is to occasionally write a post and link it in with these as the inspiration for it comes.

Now that the month is over, I'm really feeling the need to take a break from blogging. This break will be for the month of November, unless I get some huge divine sign that I absolutely need to write on a subject. I am planning to use this time to revitalize myself and refresh my mind, body, and soul as my husband and I prepare for our little boy's arrival around the start of December.

If you want to get the latest on what's going on with me, you can catch up with my blog page on Facebook. Also, in December, I'll be going from this url (www.belovedpursuit.com) back to www.belovedpursuit.wordpress.com. So, while it's not much different, it is something to take note of. If you do subscribe via e-mail, this change will not effect anything.

So here is to November, and I hope we can keep in touch through FaceBook and Twitter (@AmyMcCollister).

{Day 29} From Fake Friends To Real Relationships

Have you ever wondered what goes wrong in our relationships? So do we over at Must Love God. In fact, I'm over there today sharing a little of what I've found helps in finding and making life long, Godly friendships.

[caption id="attachment_282" align="aligncenter" width="250"] Join me here today[/caption]

{Day 23} From Smart to Wise

They seem like they'd be the same thing, don't they? Yes, I thought the same thing when this topic hit my mind. So then, I decided to look up their actual meanings. Here's what I found:

Smart: Having or showing a quick-witted intelligence.
Wise: Having or showing experience, knowledge, and good judgment.

Do you see the difference? One can be smart, while not being wise. This also works the other way around. One can be wise without necessarily being smart.

Think about it, how many times have you seen someone who's very book smart, not displaying wisdom. Or what about a wise person not seeming to be very street smart? More often than not, I'm sure.

So the real task is blending these two ideals into one. The only way we can do that is by having consistent connection with the One who is not only wise, but also smart. The One who knows each of us better than we know ourselves. After all, He is the only one he is able to give wisdom when we ask, and to make us smart to the schemes of Satan, who wants nothing more than to knock us down a peg or two.

Which will you choose today? One without the other? Or both learned from the One who wants to give us all He can?

{Day 22} From Perfectionism to Relationalism

Okay, okay...I know I slacked off...again. Days 19-21 just didn't end up happening. This month has just been insane. I'd planned on coming home on Friday night after a birthday party and writing a post, but then at the birthday party I got a surprise. My Aunt Carla had flown in for the weekend, just for the baby shower. Then Saturday, the hubs and I had our birthing class, followed by an evening with Carla, Dad, my sister and her boyfriend. Sunday was jam packed with church (all morning), our baby shower (right after church), then small group in the evening. So my brain was pretty zapped from all the excitement/activity and the last thing I would have been able to do was concentrate on a post. I chose to, instead, focus on the blessing that this weekend was.

Anyway, onto today's topic.

How many times in a day do we feel that our walk with God comes down to a list. The list that says I need to do this, that and the other. So long as each of these things get done, I'm on the right path.

What happens when that's all our walk becomes about? When the list is the gauge to how we're doing when it comes to our relationship with God? What would happen if we turned our "to do" list into so much more?

On the other side of the coin. What happens when we spend so much time praying to, worshipping and loving God, that we forget that we are called to do some work. Whether on ourselves or on others?

Sure, I believe that this our faith can be demonstrated by doing such things, but are we not also called to look within ourselves to "fix" what needs to be fixed in our lives? What about looking beyond ourselves to the needs of others?

I believe that we are neither saved only by works, but also by faith. The two coinciding together create more than just a perfectionist faith. What we tend to find in the perfectionist faith is the to do list. I need to pray, read my Bible, worship, help so-and-so,  and so forth.

On the other hand, when we mix the perfectionism with the love God has placed in us for Him, we get a relational faith. I believe this is the type of faith that we are all called to. Not the strict "to do list" way of life, but a love motivated doing. Not an I-gotta-get-this-done-or-else mentality, but an I-want-to-do-this-out-of-my-love-for-Him mentality.


How much would our lives changed if rather than be motivated (or demotivated) by our to do list, we instead found ourselves motivated to do things out of the love we've found in Him?

{Day 18} From Failure to Forgiven

If you're joining me from my Count Me Accountable post over at Must Love God, welcome! If you're stopping here first, I'm glad to have you. Today I'm going to mix the running 31 days series of relabeled with my CMA update. This one and the one over at MLG are completely different posts, I hope you'll join me in both places today.

To the nitty gritty.

Back in August, I started with an amazing group of women on a challenge called hello mornings. The purpose of this challenge is to make mornings count. To get up, spend time with God, exercise and get the day off to the best start possible. Instead of feeling rushed, it is meant to give meaning to the day. To realign priorities.

I was going strong, going well, for a good 4-6 weeks. Then several things hit, almost simultaneously. The third trimester started (the inconsistent sleep and all), my work schedule went a little wacky (and still is) and my energy seemed to evaporate all over night. No matter what the reasons excuses I hate to say that I'm at least 2 weeks behind on the 1 Peter Kept Study that I started in August.

I'm not doing too well with a sleep schedule. Part of that is due to working splits 3-4 days a week, part of it is due to waking up to reposition several times a night, and another part is simply laziness, not finding the motivation to get up each morning. I know being pregnant is a legitimate reason for a lot of things. However, I do not want to be able to get away with it.

It has been my goal from the start to not use my pregnancy as an excuse to get out of things, a reason for allowing certain things, or letting it stop me from enjoying things that I love to do. While in many areas, this goal has been an easy one to keep. The areas I'm having issues with allowing it to become an excuse for not getting done what I set out to do is in my quiet time, and in my house keeping.

I want to keep up on both of these things. So my goal as I set out this week is to get at least one area in our townhouse cleaned up and organized each day, even if it's only a corner, it'll be a start. As well as to at least keep up with my youversion plan of reading 1 chapter from the new testament each day.

How about you? What are your goals this week? Share in the comments here, or join us over at Must Love God and link up your own post with us there.

Blessings friends.

{Day 17} Should've Been Me

This song has been playing on the radio later. It reminds me that no matter what I do, Christ died for me. Every time I hear it, I am reminded of just how great a sacrifice it was that He willing gave His life for me. It challenges me to relabel myself from deserving to undeserving. After all, we're all undeserving when it comes to the grace that is offered to us freely in the form of a cross.

{Day 16} From Fear to Reverence

Fears, we all have them. Some of them menial. Some of them legitimate. Others we go out of our way to avoid.

What happens when we allow our fear of authority, our fear of punishment, or our fear of surrender stop us from truly seeking our Father who loves us.

Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Can God stop our pain? Sure. Should we fear Him because He allows us to feel pain? Absolutely not.

The fear we are called to, is not actually fear at all. We are called to live a life of reverence.

Reverence: Deep respect for.

Deep respect. I believe this comes from a deep commitment. From a deep love. A love that we can only find when we are seeking the One who created it.

I'd much rather live a life of reverence than fear. A life lived in reverence is a life that chooses to show the proper respect to the One I live for. A life of fear is a life living on egg shells due to not knowing what is coming around the corner.

How about you friend? What is different between a life lived with reverence and a life lived in fear?

{Day 15} From Painful to Beautiful

Have you ever experienced something so painful that you've never thought you'd be able to see past it? Then later on, you look back and you can see His thread of beauty weaving every bad thing together? If not, have you taken the time to look back at those painful situations? Or has fear of falling back into it kept you from looking and learning about His faithfulness through those things?

[caption id="attachment_282" align="aligncenter" width="250"] Join me here today[/caption]

Friends, I am over at Must Love God today, sharing a song that reflects on this very concept. Won't you join us as we listen to the truth that He makes us new? I invite you to come and listen. Not only listen, but allow it to sink in.

{Day 14} From Anxiety to Tranquility

Are you like me? Do you find yourself worrying about anything and everything? Every twist and turn in the road brings about something else to worry about. Now, I've heard the following scripture time and time again. It's one I'm sure we've all heard bits and pieces of throughout our lives, but have we ever taken the time to reflect on this entire passage? To really look at what He's saying to us? Can we do that now?

O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,"
Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.
For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.
O that You would slay the wicked, O God;
Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed.
For they speak against You wickedly,
And Your enemies take Your name in vain.
Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
I hate them with the utmost hatred;
They have become my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
(Psalm 139)

Notice, the amount of times You (in reference to God) is used. This passage tells me that it's not at all about what I can do for Him. In fact, it's all about what He does for me.

Maybe when we're anxious, it's because we're focusing too much on what we can/can't do, and not enough on what He can do. Perhaps if we turn our focus to Him and give our anxieties then, and only then, will we experience what it's like to live this life with peace and tranquility.



My challenge for us this week friends is to look for ways to actively surrender our anxieties to Him, and to seek the tranquility that we can only find under His protection. Won't you join me?

{Day 13} From Forgettable to Memorable

Have you ever felt like you didn't matter? Like no one remembers that you're still alive. Have you ever felt like you were just forgotten. Whether by family, friends, or acquaintances? I'm sure we all have at one point or another, we simply feel like we're easily forgotten.



There is hope friends. Read these verses:

In my trouble I cried to the LORD, And He answered me. (Psalm 120:1)

'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' (Isaiah 41:10)

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)

In all three of these, we see an aspect of being remembered, and loved. The first one is by just the simple acknowledgement of God hearing your prayers and answering them. The second is in the form of a promise. God promising to always hold us up, no matter what happens. The third is another promise. A promise the always be with us, through every trial and circumstance that comes our way.

So friends, will you join me in reflecting on these promises?

{Day 12} Whatever You're Doing

It's been another crazy day. So I'm going to use this chance to play another song that falls in line with our topic.

{Day 11} From Heartbroken to Hopeful

If you've been around here for a while, you'll probably remember the potentially dream shattering news my husband and I received. If not, you can read about it here. The news hit my heart and it hit it hard. After that, I had a couple weeks of heart to heart conversations with God, and a lot of surrender mixed within those. Within a month we found out about a miracle on the way.

Terrified, I informed my husband. Yes, I said terrified. Why? Because in the 3 months leading up, we had already experienced one miscarriage, and I don't think I'd been able to survive another one. Terrified because I wasn't quite sure how the hubs would react. I mean, I figured he'd be excited...eventually. Once he knew, he was excited, which made me feel 10 times better.

We had planned on waiting a while before we told anyone. Ya know,just in case. Well...we were too excited and ended up telling almost every one fairly quickly. Which again, reassured me that this was going to be it. That at the end of this pregnancy we wouldn't be holding heartbreak any longer, we would have in our arms, our first child.

The weeks have come and gone fairly easily. Now we're 8(ish) weeks out and gearing up for our little boy to come. In fact, just a couple weeks ago, we had the privilege of having maternity shots taken. My younger sister did a great job.

Here's how the heartbreak has turned into hope for us:

[caption id="attachment_728" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Don't you just love the fountain?[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_734" align="aligncenter" width="300"] My favorite picture we took.

Momma and son

This pic was awkward to take but turned out adorable

Momma, Andrew, and the photographer

Kevin giving a glimpse into his personality...yes, a little goofy

Kisses, kisses[/caption]

 

{Day 10} From Good to Grace

So yeah...day 9 didn't happen. Between getting called into work early...then getting some sad news...followed by going back into work...my brain was mush. So you'll just have to forgive me for that one. :P

If you remember, about a year ago, I wrote a post...well several posts...on the book Grace for the Good Girl. While I didn't post for every chapter in the book like I wanted to, but I did make it through the entire book. And I loved every single chapter. It challenged me in ways that were uncomfortable but in ways that I knew I needed to be challenged.

For this one, I'm going to go back through and share some of my favorite quotes and most challenging quotes to help give a better idea of just how the book impacted me to live by grace rather than by good deeds.

“If I obey perfectly, then I am in charge. If it comes down to grace, then Jesus is in charge.”

“Good girls are good listeners. Good girls are always there for everyone. Good girls don’t get mad. Good girls are laid-back. Good girls roll with the punches, go with the flow, follow the leader.”

“As good girls, we subconsciously label ourselves as the strong ones, the responsible ones, the sweet ones, or the right ones…But Jesus is calling us to a deeper, truer, freer identity.”

[About Jesus] “Knowing there were peopole who disagreed, even hated him, didn’t cause him to change one thing he did. He wasn’t working to maintain a good reputation. He was walking in dependence on his Father. Jesus didn’t value what people thought; he valued people, period.

“I can’t tell you how many times I have stood dumbfounded and wimpy in the middle of a heated discussion only to tell the person off while alone in my car on the way home. I sound so tough alone in my car.

“We know we’re supposed to trust God, but trust is so intangible. It almost seems passive in the face of all there is to do.”  [OUCH...I still struggle with this one]

“The law was given to lead the unbeliever to her Savior, not for the believer to try to keep it.” [Wince]

"You have trained people to think you have no needs, but you are secretly angry with them for believing you.”

“…if you are working in your own strength, then who gets the credit? You do. If you aren’t being rewarded for your hard work, who gets offended? You do. If things aren’t going the way they should, who gets angry? You guessed it.

“The first side is where most good girls live. We know about the forgiveness, about the sin and the blood and the death of Christ. But we aren’t as familiar with the body side. So we live on the forgiveness side and try hard to get the life.”

Okay...so most of these still apply to me. For many of them it's not to the same extent it did before either. So that is progress. So on the rebound of re-reading (and getting re-convicted in some areas) I'm going to let these sink in.

The only thing left to say is...so often we try to be good enough to deserve the grace He gives to us. When the only thing that is left for us to do is rest, relax and receive.

So friends, will you join me in receiving and resting in the ocean of His grace?

{Day 8} From Dead to Alive

So often I feel like this is a description that is far over used. It's almost become a cliche. However, the more I reflect on what this whole thing is about...this living for Christ, I can't help but keep coming back to this: Before I accepted Him and repented, my heart, mind and soul was in fact dead. Dead to the promises of eternity. Dead to the beauty around me. Dead to the miracles that happen daily. All in all, dead.

When we discover the goodness of who He is, fully accept His sacrifice on the cross, and commit our lives to Him, we are no longer dead. Something inside awakes within us. Not just within us, but something wakes us up. Our eyes are opened to new colors, new wonders, and new experiences.

Soon after the newness of it all fades away and we find ourselves in a rut. We know we're saved, we know He is good, and we know He hasn't changed or moved, but we just don't seem to have the excitement we had at first. Soon after the dead feeling seems to be creeping back in to us, into our hearts, into our lives.

So what happened?

Could it be we let the world get to us again? Or maybe we forgot that by accepting His love, grace and mercy that meant we gave Him control, and we took back control? Then again, maybe we forgot that part of accepting Him means changing our habits? It means taking time out to dwell with Him...yeah, I've been there too.

So friends, choosing life over death is something we must do minute by minute. We must choose to not only focus on Him, but to dwell with Him in all we do. So let's make that our challenge as we go about our lives, shall we?

{Day 7} From Broken to Whole

Have you ever felt completely broken? Like you've been thrown to the ground and your heart, soul, mind, determination, ect has been destroyed, shattered? If you're like most in the world, this happens on almost a daily basis.

At one point in time or another, we all have felt what it's like to feel like we're in a million different pieces. When we're in those places, feeling completely helpless like nothing and no one can heal us. Then we read passages in our Bible, or we hear someone scriptures while talking and we're like "yeah...right...like this is going to help."

The good friends encourage us not to take their word for it, but to really dig into those scriptures on our own. We resist for a few hours/days/weeks/months/years until we realize things are getting any better on our own. Then we decide to listen to the prompts and we find scriptures like these:

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:4-5

When we're done we find ourselves crying. Broken over this beautiful concept. That He CHOSE to go to the cross for us. Not just to rid us of our own selfish desires and cleanse us from our sins. He chose to sacrifice Himself that we might be healed (i.e. made completely whole). 

But for the first time, this broken isn't a broken, shattered, helpless/hopeless feeling. It's a brokenness with hope. The knowledge that because He chose to be "broken" for us, that we are healed. As we searched other areas we see that along with healing comes a wholeness. A new, complete life that is full of nothing but abundant promises.

So for at least the second time this series so far, the very topic that I'm looking to write on, God has prepared the base for me to spring board off of it. I picked the first week or so topics ahead of time, not knowing what to expect.

So friends, let's take comfort in the fact that we are made whole because He was wounded and chose to go to the cross for us.

{Day 6} Musical Interlude

As you are aware, I've started a 31 days series on relabeling ourselves in order that we might get a better idea of who God created us to be.

Well, it's almost 8 p.m. and I haven't written today's post yet. For good reason, too. You see, I left my house around 10 a.m. yesterday morning. Silly me, forgot to write today's post ahead of time. Today, my best friend/accountability partner married the love of her life. So being 8 months pregnant and in the wedding...my brain is kind of fried...okay maybe that's an understatement.

So I've decided today, I'm going to post a couple songs that have really hit a chord with me when it comes to rediscovering exactly who I was made to be.

This first song, I listened to when I got home from the wedding. The lyrics are so fitting. Not only for the symbolism of Christ to His people, but also for the commitment that two people make when they get married.


This next song, I have loved for a long time. It reminds me that as long as I am being who He made me to be, I will be free. Being free and undone is the safest thing to be.


This last song is one that is welcoming us to realize that the only one who is perfect is our Abba Father. This is a song that encourages us to embrace the changes He brings to our hearts and lives.

{Day 5} From Loner to Connected

Growing up I was always the outcast, the odd-one-out, the loner. Even in my own family. I have always been the one who you'd see sitting back watching others. It didn't matter what it was, if it was a group thing, I quickly placed myself on the outside. I had convinced myself that it was safer to be the loner, to not have to lean on any other person. Even when the tough times came, I always found a way to glide through them, to work through them, to trudge through them, without having to ask for help from anyone.

While I always had friends, I had been one (and still can be sometimes) to keep them at arms length. Having learned that most people that come in do so to only leave gaping wounds and then walk away. From an early age, I had learned that relying on others around me was something that I could not do without experiencing huge hurt and heartache. I learned that I could easily live life with nothing more than acquaintances, that true, real, deep, for-good-AND-bad relationships didn't exist.

Enter Kevin, 7 years ago (today). We'd known each other for 3 or so years from church. For the 3 months prior to 10-5-05, the day we started dating, we had become good friends, the best of friends actually. I had found myself sharing stories about my past with him that no one knew. It was scary, I couldn't believe I'd found myself sharing some of those hurts from my childhood, but at the same time it seemed natural, safe. It was the start to a relationship that I knew was going to be different from every other one, but I didn't know how.

I can see now that God gave me him to show me what a good, strong, open relationship was meant to be. Relationships (friends, family, ect) were meant to build us up. The close ones were made to turn us into better people. We were not meant to walk through the valleys of life alone. That was never His intent.

Since then, there have been many people walk into my life who I consider to be very close, close enough to be like family. In these last several years, there have been a few who have ripped the flesh wide open, only to leave me to sew myself back together. The first one, about killed me. Until I learned to turn to the ultimate Healer. Since then each one that does so, He shows me why they came into my life in the first place. Then I can treasure the good, and let go of the hurt much more quickly.

Then came the time He called me to start blogging. It was nerve wracking. Little old me, writing for other people to see? Umm...no thanks. I kept feeling the push, so I did so. My first post wasn't much, but it was a start. It took a while to get on the ball, to warm up. It took a little less than a year to get into the habit of writing regularly, but it was started nonetheless.

Last year, participating in this series lead me to meet several amazing writers and through them I have met even more sensational writers. I've been so blessed to have fallen feet first into this community. For without them, I wouldn't have been able to stand very well through the miscarriage we experienced at the start of the year. Without them, I wouldn't be able to find myself sharing my heart monthly over here (where I am today, talking about that very miscarriage season).

Without God's teaching, guidance, and nudging this journey I've been on. The one where He's taught me how to be connectable with others He places in my path. Without this teaching I would be the loner of all loners.

How about you? How has God taught you to be connectable?

{Day 4} From Rags to Royalty

Throughout the bible, we read many stories about how God takes the unlikely candidates and extends His grace. Turning them into His children. Heirs to the throne. It doesn't matter how far, down and out we are, or we feel we are. He is faithful enough to draw us back into His will, if we want Him to. He will always, always, always take our rags and turn them into robes suited for royalty. In reality, after we have claimed Him as our savior, that's what we are....royalty.

The story of the prodigal son is one I think we can all identify with. While yes, it's used a lot in sermons to set an example of God's never ending love for both the one who strays and of the older brother who remains faithful. I believe that each and every one of us can relate to the prodigal son. At one point in our lives or another, we all have to make that choice. The choice to run into the arms of our Father, or the choice to walk away. Whether we're coming to him for the first time, the second time, or what seems like the millionth time. He will always welcome us back with open arms. Throw a feast and place His royal robes on us.



At this point, it all comes back to our each individual mind set. God knows we are royalty because He chose us to be royalty. We have to make the choice to believe that we are royalty. Not because we feel like we're royalty, but because we were created by the King of the world. Making each and every one of us a prince or a princess. All we have to do is believe in Him and choose to believe that when He calls us "son" or "daughter" it is because that's who we are not who we have to become.

So dear friend, Will we choose the royal robes today? Of perhaps we'll cling to the rags, because they're what we know, where we feel safe? It is ultimately up to us.

{Day 3} From Captive to Free

Oh man...you've gotta love the way God works. I had several titles of posts already set up. Having no idea what they would lead to. Now I say this because this morning I got together with a loved friend. We were discussing Rehab. Have you heard her story? If not, or if you need a refresher, please feel free to jump over here and read it. Then do me a favor, and come back to my humble abode here and join me to see how He's connected her story and this title in my heart and head.

Rehab started out being captive to her culture. She was in a sense, the most judged person in her civilization all because of the profession she found herself in. Not only did she find herself being held captive by others judgement, she was also held captive by the king. For he relied upon her to seek out those that were coming in to take siege to the town.

On the other side, she found herself being taken captive by stories she heard about this one they called Yahweh. The God of the Israelites. She found these stories, these miracles to be profound. We can't help but wonder if she may have found herself dreaming what it might have been like to live free, to experience the deliverance and love that this people found themselves surrounded by. Even if they didn't realize just how blessed they were.

One day, one normal day for one in her profession, she was scanning the incoming crowds. When she saw those two men. Knowing deep within what these Israelite men's intentions were. Having a fear of their God because of the stories that she'd heard, she was moved to take a drastic leap. A leap that could very well destroy the life she knows and likely be the very end of her life as well.

In the end, it's this very leap that saves her life. Both literally and spiritually. While her actions may have been less than stellar and cause for speculation, the one thing that we have to look at is the amount of faith her actions took. Faith in a God she had only heard about.

How many times in our lives do we find ourselves being held captive by something? Perhaps it's a "secret" sin. Perhaps it's a label you (or someone else) has put on you. Then again it could just be a lack of faith, whether in yourself, in others, or in God.

Whatever is holding us captive, more often than not it is going to take a leap. Normally this leap is something that we feel is going to destroy us. That's where we need to have the faith that Rehab did. She didn't necessarily have faith in the men she hid. No, because all she knew about men is that they more often than not used her and left her feeling completely empty. She had faith in this God she'd heard so much about. She'd heard stories about His faithfulness and His power to overcome anything that may be standing in His way.

So I ask you today friend, is there a leap that God's asking you to take? Might I encourage you to give it another thought? To bring it into consideration again? Then to pray over it, and actually do it? He is bigger than the jump, even if you feel like you're falling, if it's a leap He's called you to, He will give you the extra stamina you need to make it to the other side.

{Day 2} From Worthless to Priceless

For most of us, we feel a sense of purpose at a young age. We just have a gut feeling that we know what we're supposed to do with our lives. We feel a sense of worth. When in all reality, if we don't have Christ, our lives and souls are worthless. The greatest call we have is to love God then love others out of that love.

We often are told that we are bought at a price. A high price. The price of Christ coming down to this broken world and living a perfect life only to give it up for us on the cross. Keep in mind, Christ didn't have to die for us. He knew that was his purpose.

Sometimes I ponder these questions: what if he would have chosen to go off the game plan and live it up while he was here? What if he would have gotten to the final stage and said "ya know what? I changed my mind. These people aren't worth it."

Then I stop to think, how thankful am I that he didn't. For I was bought at the highest price one could imagine. The life of God's child. His only son. And that fact (in and of itself) makes this life I live (and the one you live too) priceless.

Would you like to join me and 1100+ other writers? Or would you like to skim over some of the other writer's topics. If so, please feel free to do so. You can find them all by going here. To go back to the beginning of my series all you have to do is click on the picture above.

{Day 1} From Old to New

Today is day one of taking off the labels you, me and others put on ourselves and replacing them with who God says we are and who he created us to be. I hope this journey will connect with and challenge us to become deeper, more mature followers of Christ.

The transformation from our old being to our new being rarely happens over night. I feel that many times, this concept becomes nothing more than a cliche, or something we use to make ourselves feel good about what becoming a follower of His is supposed to do to us. Then we often find ourselves getting discouraged when the change doesn't happen right away. Let me ask you this: how often does the best work happen overnight?

Back in August, I joined the Hello Mornings Challenge. I was so looking forward to kicking the old habits (or lack there of) when it came to my bible study habits. Replacing them with new, daily, exciting studies. Unfortunately, that change hasn't quite happened. I am now a week behind. There's many factors that play into this, but when I opened up the study this morning, I couldn't help but laugh when I read a quote from today's devotional.

...being a new creation doesn't mean we won't war against our flesh.

That struck a cord with me. That's when it donned on me that it's okay if I don't always feel as though I am new, even if in my head I know it's true. All that matters is that I am continually taking steps away from my old self and putting on my new self with each step away. It is a life-long process.

So often I think we fall into this trap of thinking that if it doesn't happen in the exact moment we think it should that we have somehow failed. I know I tend to read in 2 Cor 5:17: "therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come" thinking that it supposed to happen in the exact moment I accepted Him into my life, gave Him ultimate control.

So friends, I think it's time for these labels to be given a different perspective. Instead of focusing on the need to feel new right away, maybe we can look at the little things we can do that will help make us new each day. Maybe it's trying to see things from a better perspective. Taking our thought life under control. Quit buying into the lies that Satan feeds us and start looking into His truths to shape us into the new creation He wants us to be.

How about you? In what ways have you began to embrace your being a new creation in Christ?

Year two anyone?

Last October I took part in a super exciting 31 days series. Some of you may remember my topic was music. Well, it's that time again and I've been looking forward to this. For those of you who have been around here for a while, this year has been all about change for me.

God's done some amazing work in my life, allowing me to strip off old labels I'd worn since childhood. Giving me the courage to place new labels, His labels on to myself. Even if I haven't fully come to understand or believe them yet.

My goal for the month of October is to highlight the transforming power of His love and grace. Taking one label the world loves to place on people and shedding His light on them. Fighting them tooth and nail with His truth. That we might become more secure in who He made us to be, and strip off the ugliness of who the world thinks we are.

I'm going to ask for grace, encouragement and support this month. I'm praying that this will re-ignite my love for writing and deepen my understanding of my creator. As well as reconfirm who I am in Him. This journey is also one I look forward to helping with my life-long struggle with chronic insecurity.

I hope you'll join me for....

Day 1: From New to Old

Day 2:  From Worthless to Priceless

Day 3: From Captive to Free

Day 4: From Rags to Royalty

Day 5: From Loner to Connected

Day 6: Musical interlude

Day 7: From Broken to Whole

Day 8: From Dead to Alive

Day 9: --No Post--

Day 10: From Good to Grace

Day 11: From Heartbroken to Hopeful

Day 12: Whatever You're Doing

Day 13: From Forgettable to Memorable

Love Impacts

I've been scarce around here lately. It's not that I haven't wanted to write, because believe me...there has been plenty on my heart to write about. No, the issue has been due to the exhaustion that crept back up on me. Hit simultaneously with the start of the third trimester. With that being said, there has been two songs lately that I hear all. the. time. Each time I hear them I can't help but stop what I'm doing and focus on these songs.





So...if those two songs didn't make it clear enough and emphasize that my life needs to be a reflection of His love. This morning, I read through the end of week 5 of the Kept Study from the Hello Mornings gang. The point to ponder at the end of the week was:

"I cannot love like He loves unless I follow Christ's example and die to self."

Ohh kayyy... I think I get the point. Just maybe. Then again...this seems to be one of those lessons that just keeps coming up. One of those I have to learn, re-learn, and then have it taught to me again.

The challenge I set out for myself is to look for ways each day, hour, minute to be a better display of His love to those who are around me.

Seeing the beauty {Multitudes 121-145}

Up until last week, this pregnancy has been fairly easy. Not too many of the negative symptoms and enjoying the bliss that is known as the second trimester. Then the third trimester hit, along with muscles ache (primarily in the back and legs) as well as major heart burn. Couple that with a long, stressful, and behavioral week at work, it makes for a tired mama.

Now, even though I know in the end, it will be worth each and every thing that may seem annoying right now. Sometimes it's hard to look through the forest for the beauty. Which is why I love this practice on Mondays of counting the gifts given to me on a consistent basis.

121. New challenges
122. Baby movement
123. Steps in the right direction
124. Cool mornings
125. Bright cloudless skies
126. Fall temperatures
127. How the grass shimmers with dew
128. Kevin’s curiosity about Andrew
129. Peaceful mornings
130. God’s energy that  carries me
131. Boldness
132. Books that challenge me
133. Friends that do too
134. Daily grace
135. Perspective alignment
136. Confirmation (repeatedly) of call
137. Deep conversations with my love
138. Spirit movement
139. Our double-wide chair-perfect for cuddle time
140. Shared interests—especially unlikely ones
141. His vision for us
142. Registering for baby Andrew
143. New beginnings
144. A sweet, yet stubborn dad
145. Commitment

Won't you join all of us who take part in the community? All you have to do is jump on over to Ann's place and link up with us!

Five Minute Friday: Graceful

It's time again for one of those weekly link-ups that many of us love so much.
Dare we be so bold as to write for a solid five minutes without second guessing ourselves?
Today's prompt?

Graceful

How is it that so shortly after just studying about a very topic, we forget that it's meant not only to be taken into my heart, but also poured out onto others. It almost never fails that on the days that we're prompted to study or write on a subject, it's that very subject we're tempted with.

To be graceful is to show grace just like our Father has shown to us. How can it be so hard for us to freely give to others what was freely given unto us? Is it because we so often think that the grace we have been given falls on us because of something we have done? Forgetting that it's a free gift that HE gave unto us. Unto me.

Can we stop trying to earn it, and just let it fall on us. To allow it fill us to the point where it just naturally just pours out of us onto others? To be full of grace is to be full of God. For at His very core we'll find grace.

Father,  Forgive me when I fail to show grace to those around me. Forgetting that you have given me grace, free without condition. May I learn to extend that same grace to others. In Jesus Name, Amen.

STOP

Need a reset?

Sometimes we all need to simply hit reset every now and then. That's precisely what's taking place over at Must Love God. With the start of a new school year often means a similar refreshing of priorities as January 1st brings about. We thought this would be the perfect time to re-prioritize our lives by looking at the four key areas of life that need to be in a constant state of evaluation anyway.



We had the intro post a few days ago. Then yesterday we had an amazing post about how to read the Bible effectively  especially if you don't feel you understand it thoroughly enough. Today, yours truly is sharing on ways to better process what we read in the Bible.

I hope you'll join us for the rest of this reset. I cannot wait to see what transformations God's going to do through this reset! It may hurt, but I know in the end it will be worth it!

Five Minute Friday: Change

Time again for one of my favorite things! Five minute Friday linking up with Lisa-Jo and hundreds of other writers. Today's topic is change. With how my brain is today, the result is bound to be interesting. So let's jump right in.

Change

Everything in life changes. It always does. It's what this world was designed for. Changes are often the result of suffering. No matter the type of suffering, whether it's major suffering, or minor suffering, change is bound to happen once we're through it.

Change. I feel it coming around me. There's a sense of impending change in the air around me. No matter where I look, it's there. While I'm sure there will be good change, I can't say that it will all be good change. Some of it may be more challenging and hard to deal with before I am able to see the sweetness that comes out of such change.

Change is a scary word, to many people. Myself included. Perhaps the scariness of it is the fact that we don't know what will happen at the end of it. At least, not completely.

Uncertainty. Yes. That is what we can see coming from change. Uncertainty of where we'll end up. If we'll get there in time. If the change will ultimately be beneficial for us in the long run.

However, we are promised in Scripture that if we trust wholeheartedly in Him, then we will never be disappointed in the change. In all reality we are changed into a new creation each day. Whether it's all at once or little by little He his changing us to be the person that He created us to be. The person that He needs to complete His will for this world.

The question isn't what will the change bring about, because if we're looking to Him, we know it will all result in beauty. Maybe the real question is, will we trust Him enough to open our hearts up to the change He has for us? Believing that His will is greater than our desires? Giving Him the complete control to change the traits in us that only He knows needs to be changed in order for us to be more like Him?

STOP

There we have it friends. Now, won't you jump on over to Lisa-jo's place and join us in this challenge? It's simple, just write for 5 minutes flat. Without worrying if it's just right or not. No editing, no back tracking. Just a raw, heart felt 5 minutes.

What Went Wrong {& gifts 106-120}

Friends, have you ever had one of those nights where you feel like you could just break down at any second, for no particular reason? As I sit here tonight I'm feeling very heart broken. And to be totally honest, I'm not quite sure why. All I know is that I see a brokenness in the world around me and I feel it in the deepest parts of my heart.

Maybe it's because the "normal" brokenness we see in the world around us has started continued to seep into my family and close circle. Perhaps it's because as I find myself plunging into 1 Peter with my hello mornings gang I am starting to see more about the world around me that is less than appetizing. However, it could be due  to the raging hormones of pregnancy. Although somehow, deep inside I think it's a mixture of the first two with just twinge of the third. When I look around, I can't help but wonder,

what went wrong? 

Then I look at the traits that God created us to represent. Love. Peace. Respect. Hope. Kindness. Joy. Grace. Him. Then I look around me and I have a hard time seeing these. More often we see hate, rage, disrespect (or lack of respect), hopelessness, disdain, bitterness, Satan.

When we stop yearning to look like Him, we cease to be able to accurately reflect these traits. When we stop reflecting these traits, those around us cease to see even a fraction of who He is. When we stop searching after  the God who created us and stop reaching for the characteristics He wants us to have, we fall hard. We fall prey to Satan. We fall right into his traps that are set up for us.

I see vicious cycles floating around in the air around me. Cycles that I try with all my might to avoid. Honestly, I've found myself trapped in these cycles most of my life, because that's all I had ever known. Until He guided me into relationships with other believers that helped shed light on the true issues in which they were rooted.

Now, it is only by His grace that I do not fall into those cycles (as often). I'm not afraid to admit that at times I still fall prey to them. Now I stop and ask myself,

what can I do?

But I have found the key to avoiding many of those major traps. Daily worship, scripture reading, and prayer.

 

So as I sit here tonight, something of which I'm not totally sure the origin, weighing heavy on my chest. I can sit back, take a deep breath in, exhale some of the heaviness and TRUST that my spirit is conveying the prayers that my brain doesn't know it needs to be saying. Not only that, but I can trust that God is already at work in my heart to show me the steps I need to take to help the heaviness.

 

*Because I know that one of the best ways to come out of a mood like this is to count some of these...and after all it is still Monday...

106. I love feeling the strong kicks of my little boy. Although I might not think they're as sweet when he gets on the outside...
107. Brokenness
108. Beauty in brokenness
109. Circumstances that bring about
110. Friends who pray at the drop of a hat
111. The ability to be Switzerland
112. A job that challenges me
113. A very active baby boy
114. 1 Peter
115. Challenges that make this life worth while
116. 31 parties that allow me to get to know other women around me
117. The good days at work
118. Quiet time in the morning
119. My desires for a family that is a-typical in today’s society
120.A husband who has the same desires for our family

Won't you Join me?

It's that time again friends! Another Friday arrived. Meaning another week is behind. It also means that it's time for another round of 5 minute Friday.

If you've stopped over from Lisa-Jo's place: Welcome new friend! It's so nice to have you here. I hope you'll come back again.

To my regular readers: Hello there! I love seeing your face around here all the time!  Whether you're a new comer or an old friend, I hope that you'd take the time to jump in on our conversation.

JOIN

If you've been around here with me for any length of time, you know my challenge is to create a place where I can be completely real. Not only that but a place where my readers can come and feel like they can just be themselves as well. After all, I've found that if it's not real, then it's not worth your precious time.

I've never been one to just immediately jump in and join others in what they're doing. I've always been a shy one. The cautious one. In many ways I still am.

However when it came to blogging and making friends that way, I joined right in. Which totally goes against my natural instinct-a true introvert. I have found that when I joined in (in both big ways and small ways) I find that God has given me the courage to open up some. To love on those who need loved on. To put the right people in my path that won't judge me for or be scared away by my quirky-ness.

So friends, I encourage you to join in on His cause. When we do, we will find that we'll be able to exceed our own expectations. Joining with God in His cause will more than likely be uncomfortable and scary. But I promise, if you join with me in joining with Him, it will be worth it.

STOP



1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Rethinking Family

I'm sitting here this morning doing my morning reading in 1 Peter and I'm watching as my little one says hello from the inside. While I know he's been awake since about 6am, I woke around 8:15am this morning. Ever since then, he's been letting me know he's here with me. Enjoying the music with me.

As I finished up with my quiet time, I sit watching him move, feeling him move. It gets me thinking about what the original design for family was to be. Surely this trend of disconnected, estranged, and un-involved families can't be the way God originally designed it. No, I'm sure it's not. It is what the enemy has created it to be.

We're told that everything God creates is good. Since the family unit was originally His creation, I have to believe there's a better way to do it. There has to be a way that we can keep family close, unified, and loving despite the attacks there are against it.

Satan has planned attacks against families since the beginning. After all, the first family was broken apart by jealousy and murder. As I look around this world, I can honestly say we. have. not. changed. Many of the times that families (mine included) have been broken apart it's generally been either selfishness or misunderstandings that get blown out of proportion.

As I fell asleep last night, and as I woke this morning, I couldn't help but think how I want Andrew's life to be different. I want our family to be connected. I want a family that's unified. I want a family unit in which each person involved knows that it is a safe place. A place they can come, kick their shoes off, and just be themselves.

I want both of my guys to know that their house is a place of honesty, respect, love and support. Not one of fighting, judgements, regrets, pain and sorrow.

So dear friends, there are two things I need from you:

• Prayers and accountability-for both now and after Andrew gets here. I want to make family a priority. Family time. Family meals. Family walks. Family devotions. I want to create the family atmosphere for my son that I didn't grow up with, but always longed for.


• Ideas-What have you done to ensure your family stays close, especially in the midst of chaos?

FMF: Connection

 

Five Minute Friday ~ Connection

I've found that connection must start with the Creator. If I fail to recognize that not making that connection a priority then any other connection I make is at great risk of failing or hurting.

Connection is an essential part of life. Without connection we would find ourselves feeling isolated and lonely. With every breath we connect in one way or another.

Whether our connection is with friends, family, strangers, or animals, we must be mindful of the type of connection we make. As well as the type of fragrance we leave once that connection is complete.

When people walk away from a time of connecting with us, do they walk around feeling challenged to better themselves for God? Refreshed? Brought down? Discouraged? Encouraged? Loved? Like an inconvenience? Do our interactions with others bring them up or tear them down?

I think it's essential to keep in mind the type of connection we want to be and take steps to make it happen. For me, being a consistent positive interaction must begin by connecting with the One who teaches love like no human ever can.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. 

Taking Control So I Can Surrender

Sounds like an oxymoron doesn't it? But it's true. In two weeks I'll be joining hundreds of others in reclaiming my mornings to grow deeper in Him. To become a better representation of His love in every other area of my life. And from what I've heard and seen from friends is that there is one challenge that really seems to work.



 

What is hello mornings? Hello mornings is a challenge one can take that give you a group of loving, supporting, encouraging individuals. An amazing group leader. And a do-able challenge. The goal? To start each day off on the right foot: time with God, exercise, and planning out the day.

The fall session runs from August 20th thru November 16th. During this time, it is my hope that I can get myself on a routine. One that will *hopefully* still work come late November/early December when our lives get turned upside down with the appearance of little Andrew.

What will this look like for me?
1) I want to be able to get into a sleep rhythm (yes I know he'll change that for me) but for me the rhythm will be getting to bed around the same time each night. My goal will be in bed (and hopefully sleeping) by 11pm, midnight at the latest, waking consistently around 8am. While that may be late for some (especially you first shift-ers who consider 8am to be sleeping in--lol) for a second shift-er like me, 8am is like the crack of dawn.

2) Consistently seek time in His word FIRST. Before checking my phone (that will probably be the toughest habit to break. Before checking Facebook. Or Twitter. Or Email. Checking in with Him, starting my day with consistent prayer, scripture and worship (however that may look for the day).

3) Find some light, easy-going exercise that will help me kick myself in gear after Andrew comes. After all, I lost the weight once....who's to say I can't do it again. Plus, I have a wedding in April that I need to get back in better shape for anyway. SHOWER! (after all I think my hubs, dad and client would all appreciate it...haha)

4) Eat breakfast (I have a horrible habit of skipping breakfast). As well as prepare breakfast for my love as well. As a bonus it would give us time to touch base before we both head in opposite directions for work.

So there it is friends. My plan for getting on track. Getting focused. And preparing for motherhood.

Too Fast?

Hey friends! Exciting news! I'm sharing my heart today over at Must Love God. I hope you'll join us in our discussion.

[caption id="attachment_282" align="aligncenter" width="250"] Join me here today[/caption]

The thought we're tackling today is this: are we moving so fast that we fail to take delight in the good that is going on in our lives right now?

My mind some days

The other day I was talking to a friend on the phone after my doctors appointment. This last appointment was the big one. We found out that we have a little boy on the way! I remember saying that I didn't really have a preference so long as the baby way healthy. I chatted with my friend for a few more minutes before hanging up.

When I hang up, Mom mentions that she had a friend who used that same phrase while she was pregnant. Then when she had the baby it turned out to be a child with down syndrome. She went on to tell me that said friend then felt extremely guilty for telling people that the sex didn't matter as long as the baby was healthy.

Then a question popped into my head as I was driving a little later on. Maybe it's my line of work. Perhaps it's one of my good blogging friends who has a special needs child. Then again, it could be because of my cousin's very adorable 2.5 year old with downs. But I couldn't help to think: Why do people think a disability makes someone unhealthy? 

Does someone who have special needs typically have more challenges? Medical demands? Need more time spent on them? Sure. Having special needs does make things more complicated (i.e. more doctors appointments, surgeries, medical attention, ect). As well as makes life harder on a consistent basis. However, when it comes to those with special needs, I have a hard time as labeling them as unhealthy.

Perhaps it's because I've taken the time to get to know many who have some sort of special needs. Honestly, they have been some of the most healthy people I've known. Sure, maybe they're a little awkward in social settings...but maybe that's because they tend to be so open, accepting and completely brutally honest.*

Many times, the world hasn't been able to condition these sweet beings as it has those of us who don't have a mental, physical or emotional disability. Often we find it hard to be accepting of people no matter their look, beliefs, ect. Yet for most of them, it's easier for them to adapt to new people. When we find it so hard to speak simple truths, they (if verbal) rarely hold back. The list could go on and on.

Perhaps, instead of looking at those with special needs as being unhealthy, we can look at them and think "what can I learn from this person?" Maybe even attempt to connect or get to know those people, their lives, their personalities, their challenges, their achievements (after all many of them have more than we do), ect.

*Keep in mind these statements are generalizations and observations from my experience. I do realize that not everyone with special needs are like this. I don't say these things to offend anyone nor to condemn anyone. I say them to simply share my point of view when it comes to having a disability (no matter mental, physical, emotional) in reference to being unhealthy.

When the rapids surprise

What can I say, there has been a lot of chaos the last couple weeks. Even with all the chaos, I have seen how in the end, so long as I have my faith planted in Him, I will have enough.

Sometimes in this life, people will let us down. Other  times, it will be circumstances around us that attempt to bring us down. Or stress, fear, worry and anxiety will try to sink us. But even when the rapids hit, we can be assured that He is more than enough to provide the strength for us to make it to the other side.

Whenever we take a step in His direction, He gives us strength that is big enough to overcome our obstacles.

Then when we clear the rapids, while we may be exhausted and feel like we've been beaten down in every possible way, we can look back and see how even if it didn't feel like we had enough strength, faith, or peace, we'll see that He gave us more than enough. Sometimes this comes through encouragement from good friends. Other times it comes from a simple song.

**On Fridays I like to join up with tons of others over at Lisa-Jo's place. We write for five minutes flat. Writing without worrying about it being just right or not. Just allowing our heart to spill out for five minutes of unedited writing. Will you join us?

Martha 2.0

So often I think that Mary gets the title of the good sister. The one who got praised for her choice. The question we addressed more was, what about Martha? Sure maybe she missed the point when we first met her. What about the other times we see her.

The next time we see Martha is after her brother Lazarus dies. When Jesus arrives, instead of asking him "where were you?" she simply confesses that she knows He has the power to resurrect the dead.

In this third situation, we see Martha doing what she does best, serving. Not only that, but we see how her heart has changed. Again, Mary comes in worshiping Jesus in her own way. This time, Martha doesn't react as she did before, she just continues to to serve and allows Mary to express herself the way she was built.

So my question is this, if you typically identify with Martha, are you willing to follow her suit? Are we willing to look at the gifts He has given us, and grow into our own gifts? Or would we rather sit back and wish we had the talent that someone else has?

For me, I want to be the type that is moldable. I want to be the wife that God wants me to be. I want to be the daughter that He originally created me to be. The sister that my siblings need. Become the mom that follows His parenting style over the worlds ideas of parenting.

So how about you? How are you going to embrace the giftings he has given you?

Call me crazy...

So if you've been following my posts both here and over at Must Love God* recently I've posted a few times on my one word for the year. Today I had the crazy thought to look across the wonderful tool called the internet to see what others were saying about life after baby. Hence the call me crazy.

As I'm reading this article my eye lands dead on number 15:

Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

I couldn't help but think that maybe that's what this crazy journey to finding the meaning of limitless for my life could be all about. Learning what limitless love looks like in order to understand and display what His love looks like in my life?

It's sure to be an exciting ride.

*if you haven't popped in over here yet...I'd encourage you to. It's a great place of love, encouragement, and support in any season of life you might be in. It's made up of people a lot like you. Broken, searching, confused,  fallen, all while trying to discover what God's purpose is for their life.

86. Salt water taffy
87. Project 345
88. First movements
89. Air conditioning
90. Journaling
91. Dinner with friend
92. Baby steps
93. Peace with decisions
94. Finishing Power of a Praying Woman
95. Starting Power of a Praying Wife
96. New pillows
97. New water bottle
98. Prenatal Vitamins
99. Music that finds the words I couldn’t
100. 31 Days to Pray for Kevin
101. Lies Women Believe
102. Cuddling on our oversized chair
103. Openness with friends I’ve known a short time
104. New shared hobbies with Kevin
105. Hand me downs from friends

*Linking up with hundreds of other bloggers over at Ann's place. Join us.

Sweet Grace {CMA}

This past week has been sooo full of ups and downs. Emotional highs and emotional lows. Some steps forward, some steps back.

With all the emotional ups and downs comes a lonliness. Not by anyone else's doing, but by my own. Afraid to reach out too much, and risking the feeling of being too needy. But at the same time, so desperately longing for the connection in hopes that it will help the cycle.



Does anyone else out there feel like they're just going around and around in circles? Making progress in some areas while back sliding in others?

Yeah, I'm there too... 

Last week I posted on growing limitlessly, and unfortunately I can't say it's felt like I've been succeeding at doing  so.

I realized this week that the whole "maintaining activeness"...well yeah, that hasn't happened like I was hoping. While most days work keeps me active, I don't make the effort to continue being on my feet and moving when at home.

When it comes to emotional and mental health, I've had more bad days than good days with this. Raging hormones has made it hard for me several days this week. Between breakdowns for over absolute nothing, being uber sensitive, and getting very, very, very worn out due to a couple stressful weeks at work, those three combined have made living healthy in both emotional and mental states lately.

Spiritually I haven't quite found something that works for me...not just yet. I have looked into a few different options for me, and started something today that I'm hoping will work well.

So this week, I feel like I've backslid more than I've gone forward.
So this week, I am extremely thankful for the grace He gives.
So this week I am thankful for John 1:16-17:

For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.

 Had it not been for the law that Moses gave, we wouldn't understand how desperately we need the grace that came through Christ's sacrifice on the cross.**

With that said, this week I will cling to grace when I fail rather than stewing on the failures. I will do as Cassie says I will stop looking at the big picture, and start taking things one bite at a time. Will you join us?

On Thursdays, we join together to help each other stay accountable for our goals.

So how is your week going?  Have you been living purposefully?

We invite you to join with us in community, finding accountability for all types of things.  Are you struggling in specific areas or just in general need someone to cheer for you?

Let us know how you’re doing…by either linking up a post from your blog or simply leaving a comment!!!
(Click on link above to link up with us!)