Just a couple things...

First off...today is the day of birth for my other better half. It's hard to believe that this is the 6th birthday we've been together for. It seems like just last year that I was sneaking around behind his back trying to figure out who to invite to the surprise 18th birthday party. Making the plans, syncing up everyone's arrival before Kevin got there, stashing him at a friends house all day. Then, to see him come through the door, without a clue as to what was going on, that look was priceless. Today, he's 24, we've been together for 6 of them, married for 2. With each day that goes by I still am learning new and disturbing exciting things about the man I married. I'm looking forward to the next, oh 50 or so years.

Second agenda, my accountability partner and I are now in Daniel in our journey to read the entire bible in a year. As I was reading, I came across the 10 day fast that Daniel and a few others were instructed by God to do. To eat only fruits and vegetables, and to drink only water. As I was reading, I heard two words...do it. So, starting tomorrow, going through the 10th of the month, I plan to do just that. Fasting from everything except fruits, vegetables, and water. I bring this before you, not to say look at me, but to ask that you join me in a prayer for strength as I go through this. Since I know all of you are great when it comes to needing support and encouragement, I knew, just knew, that I can depend on you to help me.

Grace for the Good Girl Chapters 3 and 4

Chapter 3

Okay, this chapter floored me. Each and every sentence I read, I thought that Emily was talking about my life. In every area. With that being said, here are the parts that jumped out at me.

Colors mean:

• Quotes from the Book
• My add-ons
• My Story

"As a girl who accepted Jesus at a young age, I couldn't relate. In fact, I admit to sometimes wishing I had a few years of rebellion under my belt. Then my story would be interesting and dramatic too."

There are a couple years that I consider my "rebellion". Even though, in today's society it didn't look like what most would consider a rebellion. I didn't party at a young age, I didn't drink an ounce of alcohol until 3 weeks before I turned 21. I didn't get caught up in doing drugs. I wasn't sleeping with anyone and everyone. 


So what was my rebellion? When the first semester of college was coming to an end, I had decided to come home for good (there's a story there, which I'll tell later). Kevin and I had been together for about 2.5 years and had just gotten engaged. He'd been living on his own for several months now, and we decided to just have me move in together. 


Moving in together included everything (everything) that came along with living in the same apartment--in the same room. No matter how many times we denied it, we fell into the oh so common area of sin that most people in a relationship fall into. We fell into the area of sexual sin. This is the first time I've been able to honestly admit it to more than a select few people, because I was trying to maintain my good girl reputation. After all "I put a lot of confidence in myself and in my good reputation."

"I believed my role in the family was to be the good girl, the one who never got into trouble, the one with the admirable reputation. I had an overwhelming compulsion to confess to my mother [everything except what my true actions were between the time I came home from school and the time Kevin and I got married...even though everyone assumed it was true.] I remember sitting next to her knowing I couldn't carry the burden of my disobedience any longer..."

"I was a good girl desperate for male attention. It  could have been because I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father, or it could have just been because I was human." [And I thought I was the only one who grew up in this situation.]

"...the good girl is in deep danger of being her own compass rather than having a softened heart to the leading of God as he speaks through his Word, friends, or family members. I'm sure I've disregarded these things due to the fact that I was doing all right on my own, so I figured I had it all figured out. 

"The thing about bloggins is you get to put your best foot forward. You get to edit and delete and ponder before you actually say anything. You get to manage your own reputation." That and it's easier to admit mistakes because you don't have to see the initial reaction of those reading when you do make a mistake.

 "Character refers to who you are. Reputation refers to who people think you are."

 [About Jesus] "Knowing there were peopole who disagreed, even hated him, didn't cause him to change one thing he did. He wasn't working to maintain a good reputation. He was walking in dependence on his Father. Jesus didn't value what people thought; he valued people, period.

 Chapter 4


This chapter is mainly about the term "fine" and how we often, too often, hide behind it. This was another powerful chapter.

"However, many good girls have a natural disposition of sweetness that can morph into a mask of false happiness and steal authentic joy that comes from the Lord." I've felt this struggle my entire life.

"I was a human chameleon and I didn't even know it." This can describe a good portion of my child/teenage years.

"I can't tell you how many times I have stood dumbfounded and wimpy in the middle of a heated discussion only to tell the person off while alone in my car on the way home. I sound so tough alone in my car. 

 "There is no place in the Bible where it says emotions are categorized as right or wrong [good or bad]. Still, for a good girl in hiding, it feels risky to be honest about them. [Especially when she grew up with a step-parent who got angry and punished at any sign of emotion]. Honest could ruffle feathers. Honest could reveal differing opinions. Honest could disrupt your perception of me. Honest could ruin my carefully laid-back image. That is the image we care about the most.

"The longer I hide behind fine, the easier it is to convince myself I am fine. I can coast that way for a while, until I start to get cranky and irritable and cross." 

"Good girls don't like that our Bible says there is a time to hate and a time for war. So we take it out." --no matter how many times I read this in Ecclesiastes, I almost always skim over the bad and focus on the good sides of it, never really made sense to me until now.

"Our fluctuating humanness is there on purpose, to remind us of our need to draw us to the One who can meet it. We don't have to figure out the whys and origins of every swinging emotion. But it is important that we admit that they are there."

 Are you a good girl? Or do you think you are? Have you started reading Grace for the Good Girl? If so, feel free to share your thoughts. If not, I'd encourage you to do so and please, feel free to share your thoughts on this post. :)

Reflections

Today, as I sit back and look on the events of Thanksgiving day, the only thought that  comes through my mind is, where did it go to? I wake up at 8:00am and the first time I look at the clock it's 9:00am. Then the next thing I know, it's 2:00pm. I turn around again and it's dinner time, then a hop, skip and a jump later, it's 9:00pm. I found myself in my room by 11:30pm, exhausted. Asleep by 1:00a...I know that seems like I a long time to be awake after going upstairs to relax, but that's normal for me.

I'm sure that the scenario above might sound like your day..well except, maybe for the asleep at 1a. My Thanksgiving day wasn't a typical one for me, and it wasn't one I was looking forward to either. This year, instead of going to my several family gatherings, I was at work...all day (9:00a-9:00p).

The thing is, looking back, I don't think I would change this option for the world. It's not that I didn't miss my family, because I did...more than anything. It's not because I enjoy my job, even though I do...immensely. I truly think it's because for the first time in five years, I was able to relax on Thanksgiving day. Yep, you heard right, I was able to relax even though I was at work.

I work in a group home that houses eight men, fifty-five and older. Each of them has some sort of developmental disability. The thing that was different about yesterday is that we had only five of them. Of those five, two spend quite a bit in their time, one sits in a chair all day. Which leaves two guys that we typically have to watch. One went early in the day to get something that would keep him occupied all day.

Which drops it down to one guy. He's, perhaps, the hardest one to keep occupied. After all, he is our client with autism. If you know anything about people who have autism, they do not sit still for long...if at all. Even so, he was a little wound up at first, but after lunch he calmed down. Meaning we had peace for the rest of the day.

So, we were able to actually sit down, after all, the only thing that was left to do was to keep up on laundry. We made a simple lunch that used very few dishes, so we didn't have a ton of those to wash either. I went to the store and picked up our pre-cooked dinner. It only needed reheated. I put the turkey in at 3:00p and started the rest of it around 4:30p. By 5:15p we were eating dinner. Then, by 7 we were back to only having laundry to finish.

So, while I missed my family, I can honestly say that I did not miss the craziness of trying to make it to each and every family event. After-all, since both my husband and I come from divorced families, trying to keep track of all the gatherings can make us crazy some years. While we're learning to pick and choose our stops and have gotten better about juggling it all each year, we still end up exhausted at the end of it...not to mention stuffed from all the fantastic food too.

I can honestly say that I would not change the fact that I worked all day for anything. That is because even though I was at work we didn't have a lot of actual work that needed done. The best part? When my boss called to check up on us...I mentioned we were just having a chill-day, she was all for it! Can you say (to steal a word from my younger sister)....

WIN!

So as I look ahead to today and tomorrow, what do I see? More work. I have an eight hour day today and a twelve hour day tomorrow. Then finally a break for a day before going at it again next week. My total hours for this week will be in the 60-65 range...I know I'm nuts. Rather than going into work the next couple days bummed that I can't just stay home and chill with my sister, dad and husband, I'm going to try to look at it as a chance to do something I love. A chance to make a different in each of these men. So here's to the wrap-up of a long week.

Oh, I say thanksgivings day rather than thanksgiving because I truly believe that we should live a life of thanksgiving, and if we're doing that, the only difference about the last Thursday in November is the fact that we get together with friends or family and eat some amazing food.

How was your Thanksgiving day?

GFTGG: Chapter 2

Today I am going to cover chapter 2 of Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman. 

If you missed my overviews of the prologue and chapter 1 feel free to join me here and then come back. The more I read through this chapter, the more I felt like Emily had been given a magnifying glass right into my life, the struggles of my heart. Now, I'm an extremely emotional mess person (ask my family if you don't believe me, especially my husband) but not once has a book or movie actually moved me to full, real tears. I'm here to admit that this chapter did just that.

As last time, the quotes from the book will be in red and my add ons will be in black. {new} Glimpses into my story will be in purple. Join me, would you? Chapter 2: Chasing Expectation

"...our masks mix with our personality and circumstance. Before we know it we don't really know who we are, and nobody else does either." 

This one hit me square between the eyes. I grew up hiding behind masks...a lot. Some were to protect those I cared about the most, others were to keep myself from getting hurt from anyone and everyone. It wasn't until recently that I've discovered just how hindering these masks had become. These masks have lead me into asking annoying questions of those around me that were meant to help me see my worth to them boost my self esteem.


Expectations and Definitions

"I don't like to fail and I certainly don't want you to know I've failed. And I'm embarrassed at the predictable pattern that my life has become."

Never does it fail when I make a mistake--no matter how small--when it comes to fessing up to it, I struggle with keeping my emotions at bay. Apologizing and admitting I'm wrong or have done something wrong was never something I was taught how to do...at least not well.


The Good Girl

"I had a good reputation to uphold, a sweetness to protect, an important list of rules to follow, an a long list of people to please."

"Good girls are good listeners. Good girls are always there for everyone. Good girls don't get mad. Good girls are laid-back. Good girls roll with the punches, go with the flow, follow the leader."

"...life was a constant battle of trying to get something I didn't think I had, of trying to become who Jesus wanted me to be, of trying to become a better version of myself."

Does someone have a mirror? If so, point it right at me. These quotes describe my thoughts, motives, actions...word-for-word.

A Better Way

"When we believe that God expects us to try hard to become who Jesus wants us to be, we will live in that blurry frustrating land of Should Be rather than trust in The One Who Is."

This one I shared my thoughts on before I read this. Not so much on what we believe, but how our language effects how we live. This happened to fall right in place with this post.

"We must work hard to perform for acceptance, and most of the time we don't even realize we are doing it."

 Lucy's story


I honestly thought that Emily was telling part of my story, only changing the name...

"Things were not as they should be. Little girls are to be protected. They should not have to protect themselves."

"Rather than collapse in despair or self-pity, she chose instead to craft a mask of strength and responsibility."

"Behind my her masks of strength, responsibility, and good performance, she was a tangled mess. And I she was all alone." 

"As good girls, we subconsciously label ourselves as the strong ones, the responsible ones, the sweet ones, or the right ones...But Jesus is calling us to a deeper, truer, freer identity."

I could go into depth on each of these and some day, I just might. Using (at least) these four sentences to let you in on a little more of my life, my childhood, my story and Christ's work through it.

If you're as blessed as I am in being able to read this book, would you join this community and share your growth and learning as you take this journey coming out from under the expectations of good girls? I'd love to hear your thoughts, input, or whatever else you feel lead to share.

Can anyone say 2X4???

It's been one of those weeks. You know the ones, when the same annoying much needed lesson keeps coming across your mind. All of the sources are completely and totally spontaneous. The first doesn't know the second, nor does the second know the third, and so on. This weeks topic?

Grace

If any of you know me, or can tell from some of my writings. I can be a very stubborn, hard-headed person. I know, I know, hard to believe right? Not if you ask my husband. 

So I recently picked up a book that I've been reading about EVERYWHERE. Most of my blogger friends have been reading it and the more I read what they had to say about it, the more my spirit was telling me that I needed to pick it up. When I saw that one one of the local stores has it on sale right now for $7 (half off!!), I took advantage of the sale.

I started reading it last week, and I am already feeling the growing pains start.  I only covered the prologue and chapter one this time because I am only about halfway through chapter 2. I've been taking it only a couple pages at a time so I can get as much out of it as possible. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll have many other posts with excerpts from the book. :)  Here are a couple big points that have almost literally kicked me in the gut.

In the prologue of the book, titled The Hiding. Even before we jump into chapter one.

"Behind the mask (any mask), you are just a woman who longs to believe that Jesus [really] makes a difference, but you have had difficulty collecting the evidence of it in your own life."

Diving into chapter one. Are you a good girl in hiding?

"I long to be seen, but I feel safe when I'm invisible."

"What about the girl in the middle? I fear I fall through the cracks because my story draws no attention."  (This one hit hard, extremely hard, I'll share more on this later.)

"You never experienced a period of rebellion, at least not one that is worthy to be told as a life-changing testimony. Maybe you are an optimist, someone who seems to see the good in everything and everyone." (Yep...that's me, been hurt beyond belief being that way too...yet I keep chugging along in the same manor.)

"I put all my confidence in the things that were awesome about myself and tried to hide the things that weren't. If Jesus fit in there somewhere, well then that was nice. But if he didn't, I was doing okay on my own anyway. That is, until I wasn't." (Even if I wasn't, it's not like I was  willing to share that part with anyone anyway)

"In the mind of God, in his vision for the world, in his idea for the universe, he made you to go in it. He had in mind a particular you. A true you. An authentic, accurate expression of himself. A woman who is more than just a watered-down version of good."

All these quotes are taken directly from Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman. Any parenthesis or emphasis is completely mine. I chose to do the quotes in red because that is the color of all my underlining in the book. I chose red initially because red is the color of the blood that Jesus chose to shed on the cross. So, in my mind red, is the color of grace.

So, that was source one of my 2X4 message. The next came via e-mail from a blogger friend I've followed for quite some time now. In this post, she is discussing the difference between being right and being well. If you're a fellow good girl, then you know you want to be both. As Lisa explains, sometimes you simply cannot be both right and well, it's about which is more important to us.

The third source came once again through e-mail. This time from an entire website dedicated to helping women achieve their best according to God's plan. In their devotional yesterday the writer was talking about being so committed to serving ourselves others for Christ that we forget to simply rest. Many times, I know I feel like I'm not doing enough for the kingdom to show that I truly am a follower of Christ.

The fourth source came via my pastor in church today. We're going through a series right now that is titled, "The Movement". It's a journey through the book of Acts. The message started out today with the oh so familiar story of the Prodigal son...but focused on the other brother...the good brother. We then jump into Acts 15. Discussing the mindset of the legalistic "followers" of that time and comparing that to Christ's mindset.

That seamlessly leads us into the topic of grace. *Whack* I sit there wondering if anyone else just got hit in the head with a 2x4 like I did. Some of the statements that felt like the 2x4 knocked the wind out of me:

"If I obey perfectly, then I am in charge. If it comes down to grace, then Jesus is in charge."

"We're uncomfortable with the fact that grace is FREE, and we want to be able to earn it."

 "Grace isn't like coffee, there's no need to add things to it to make it bearable, it's perfect as it is."

"Grace is NOT opposed to effort. It IS opposed to earning."

 So, these are just a few of the 2x4 moments I've had this week. It's been a challenging week, but I cling to the fact that in the end, nothing will feel better then being able to move past the legalistic minset (where grace needs to be earned) and fall into the Jesus mindset (that grace is free and all I simply have to do is come.)

Join me in my journey to experiencing true grace-based living? What has God been challenging/revealing to you lately?

Time got away

This week has been...well...packed. While I look back and don't know where it went, all I know is that it got a way from me. I wrote my Thirsty Thursday post, but didn't get a chance to sit down and type it out for you guys, so you'll be seeing it next week.

My goal for this weekend: to clean not only my bedroom (it's in dire need) but to also clean the bathroom attached to it. They've both been things that got lost in the midst of the lack of time. So since my other half is at work all day, I'm going to try to tackle those things. :) Wish me luck...I hate hate hate cleaning, but it needs done.

So, hopefully I'll be back to my regular writing schedule next week. I hope everyone's thanksgiving are peaceful and relaxing. As I read today, we all need to make the time to relax...looks like my time to relax will either be tomorrow, or a week from tomorrow.

Blessings friends. :)

Stages of my life

This morning at church we were discussing Paul and Barnabus. Which then lead to a little tangent on mentoring. Last month, as many of you know, I participated in Gab-fest. I started to follow about half a dozen (at least) other 31 day'ers. One of the ones I enjoyed most was the one on mentoring.

This is one subject that I haven't spent a whole lot of time on. However, it has been HUGE in my life, from the time I was 8 and my family and I started attending a church together. From that without consciously knowing it, I was in at least one mentoring relationship or another.

Initially:
The first was in a couple who liked to call me their "adopted granddaughter." They were from our church, they were my Sunday school teachers. He was my parents insurance agent and the first time he came to discuss things with him, I connected with him, which my parents found very unusual because I was the extremely shy child. I wouldn't typically go more than 2 feet from my parents. I can remember sitting with them every Sunday at church. I even remember a time when I was like 9 or 10, I went to the 4th of July fireworks with this couple. This was huge because my family NEVER went to the fireworks, well not the 4th of July ones anyway.

Second:
The next way I can remember being mentored was by another couple from our church. They were the Jr. High Sunday school teachers, youth leaders and when the other couple moved out of town and left our church, this couple kind of stepped in and filled the gap. They've been through SO much together, from medical issues, to spiritual battles fought together.

Still today, even though I don't attend the same church building they do, I still look to them as an example of the type of marriage I hope to be able to kind of imitate. While I know our battles won't be the same, I look to their dedication to each other in all they've been through and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that marriages can make it through anything, that after 20 years and numerous battles love can remain genuine, and that with God on our side we can and will withstand anything that comes our way.

Third:
While the one above is still (kind of) on-going, in middle school, mentoring took a different shape. I guess God knew I was going to need more one on one attention. When I entered Jr high, the small group format had just gotten rearranged, there were some leaders who wanted to start a small group, and some who wanted to phase out, so it just seemed like as good a time as any.

The group I was in was lead by a quiet, quarky, yet amazingly knowledgeable mother of teenagers. There were 3-5 girls assigned to my group, I was the only one to come weekly we had another girl or two who would come every few weeks or start to come regularly for a couple months and then disappear for a while. Which meant I spent most of the small group nights with one-on-one time. During the course of the 4 years I was in her group several things happened:

1. My parents got a divorce
2. My mom got remarried
3. Underwent emotional and mental abuse
4. Spent a lot of time in depression
5. Avoided jumping from relationship to relationship
6. Was lead into a "dating" relationship with a good 

Fourth:
I shared the entire story here, but I will briefly overview it. I have known her since I was 8, over the past 15 years, she's watched me go through numerous hard times, but 2 years ago our relationship shifted from her being the older sister of a kid my age, to her becoming one of my closest friends. A woman I felt comfortable enough to be boldly honest with and knew that it wasn't going any further than her mind heart and prayers. Together we tackled some huge obstacles, and we've both come out to be stronger women for it.

Fifth:
About a year and a half ago (give or take), my husband and I started attending the church linked in above. While it was hard to leave the church I'd grown up in, I was certain beyond the shadow of doubt that this was where God was leading us. Since then, I've met some wonderful people, one I'd started a relationship with, only to have it flop miserably, another I started meeting with on a weekly basis about 8 months ago. While this relationship is more of an accountability relationship than a mentor relationship, I still feel it is equally as important as the other. If it weren't for her, today, I might not have grown as much as I have in the past several months, nor would I have an extremely close friend who has challenged me and allowed me to do the same for her. We have grown in similar ways and had to tackle similar battles, and now, we cannot imagine what we have done in some of those situations had it not been for the other.

Follow-up:
The last two are still on going, and they make my life...interesting to say the least. While one I only meet with every couple of months, and the other I meet with weekly, it hasn't changed the value of each of these relationships for me. If you haven't had one of these relationships in your life, I encourage you to pray and ask God to show you the right person to play this role in your life.

I've been saying for a while that I need to write out and share my story. This is a slight glimpse of it. As always, I am willing to share what God has done in my life with anyone who asks. :)

Blessed Sabbath my friends.

It's BACK! Thirsty Thursday Week 6

Hello friends! It's that time again. I am SOOO excited to get back to Thirsty Thursdays. Today's post will be shorter then the others, but it still has a lot of good stuff in it. I'm extremely excited that you're joining me on this journey to allow God to quench the thirst we all have by getting to know Him more intimately through the stories composed in His word. (We're still in Genesis).

When we left off last time we had discussed the original design that God had for us and the fall that quickly followed. Then we saw the direct consequence to the choice we made to stray from God in the story of Cain and Able. The same week I wrote that, my family got some news and this post was eerily accurate to the situation. After that was the story of the flood and God's desired response from us. Week four was about our own strivings to "make a name for ourselves". Then, right before my hiadus from my normally scheduled posts to participate in a little thing called Gab-fest, we left off with the very beginning of Abram's story. This is where I want to pick up.

Last time we discussed God's covenant with Abram. So we find ourselves in Chapter 16. After waiting many, many years (literally a life-time in today's world) for a child, Sarai began to get extremely impatient and decided to take matters into her own hands.

Enter Sarai's maidservant Hagar. Since it seemed like all was hopeless for Sarai to have a child, she decided it was time for her to find a an alternative route. She gave her maidservant (after all maidservants were more like possessions than human beings during that time) to lay with her husband. Kind of like today's surrogate mother.

Once Sarai learned of Hagar's pregnancy, she became extremely jealous.So much so that Hagar felt it better to flee than to remain under the mistreatment she was suffering at the hand of her master, Sarai.

While in the midst of running, Hagar heard her Creator calling out to her. She, possibly for the first time, heard the voice of the One who's heart broke for the pain she was feeling. He said to her:

"...[Hagar] where have you come from, and where are you going?"

Can you imagine hearing the sweetness, tenderness, concern and compassion in His voice

Keep in mind, God didn't have to ask because He already knew. He asked to share His concern with her. As soon as she hears his question, she answers. After their conversation Hagar responds in gratefulness. Then she immediately obeys.

Have you felt the beckoning of your creator? It's amazing isn't it? If you haven't heard it, can I encourage you ask Him to reveal himself to you? It may not happen quickly, it may not happen right where you are right now.

I want to encourage you to go to a quiet place. Put your heart through a check for anything that may be keeping you from hearing His voice. Cut out any all of the distractions from around you (yes this means music, phone, computer and TV). Then wait in expectation.

Not too sure about this whole God guy? Want some honest conversation on why I believe the way I do? Please feel free to ask. I want to encourage you to continue on this journey with me. He is sure to do great things. 

Language Check Please

Friends, can I be completely honest for a minute? Oh wait a minute...you've come to expect nothing less. I love the openness that is encouraged from you all when it comes to my posts.

There's one thing that irritates me more easily than almost anything else. It's those sayings that we all use that are very common, but not necessarily biblical. These sayings are inherently good, but could (depending on the person you're talking to) be taken completely opposite to what was meant by the saying.

The two sayings that generally get under my skin (thus far) have been:

1. "God never gives us more than we can handle"
2. "God helps those that help themselves"

Like I said, common sayings. I know that in my lifetime I've said them. Over the past year or so, these two sayings have gotten on my nerves more than anything else I can remember. I think I have found a couple reasons why.

The first reason, neither of these sayings are found in the bible. They have both been proven wrong time and time again. Both in the bible and in many of our personal lives.

The first, we know isn't true. It says time and time again that He will give us more than we can handle because He longs for us to rely on him rather than on our own strength. The second, sure, the bible talks about laziness and it's adverse effects, but it never says that He will help those who help themselves, nor does the bible say that he will not help those who don't.

More than the fact of the questionable standing of being biblical, is what the results can be when we use these to "help" people around us. If we'd take the time to think about it, we may find a deeper truth.  One that we've never thought about before...after all, that is the purpose of following God, to come to a deeper understanding of truths right?

Anyway, if we were to tell someone who doesn't understand God or His ways that He will never give humans more than they can handle, in my opinion, we are doing them a huge disservice. What happens if the person we tell that to is a baby follower, still on "milk" not yet to solids yet and believes that to be the ultimate truth. If that person (adult or child) hasn't learned to test everything yet, and it becomes their motto for life.

Then something bigger than them happens in their lives. Something that they cannot handle (on their own) and they don't realize all they have to do is ask God for help. So instead of leaning on Him, they decide that this "religion" is false, it's not true and they walk away...forever. That could be the difference between them suffering eternal damnation rather than enjoying eternal life.

Now the second, if one was to tell a child, or a young Christian (who's never heard the saying before and doesn't know what is said meant), or even worse still a child with a disability, "God helps those who helps themselves", it is extremely possible that they will hear "God only helps those who help themselves (and no one else)".

The problem with that is it turns following Him into a works based way of life as compared to a faith based works of life. While we are told that "Faith without works is dead" (James 2:26). We are also told that we cannot get to heaven through works alone (multiple references).

My point is not the validity/invalidity of these sayings, my point is to encourage followers of Christ (including myself) to double check the language we use. We cannot assume that everyone is going to understand what we say when we use:

1. Christianese (i.e. church language)
2. Cliches (i.e. over used words/sayings)
3. Assumption of understanding
4. The way we relate to others in general (especially those who are new believers or don't believe)

Join me in this fight to make following Christ more real and easier for everyone to understand?

What we can get out of Bruce Almighty

Most nights, when trying to relax, I typically either put in a TV series that I have on DVD or I'll throw in a movie. The other night, after being tired of watching the same shows over and over and over....and over, I decided to put in a movie I hadn't watched for a while. So I scanned through the movies we have and I landed on Bruce Almighty.

I quickly realized that this was probably the wrong choice for wanting to fall asleep. As I was laying there listening to the familiar lines in the movie, my mind decided to go a little ADD...okay, maybe slightly more than a little. All of a sudden as the scene's I'd seen a bunch of times roll on the screen, my mind starts turning...a lot. 

Here are some of the parallels that my mind made that night:

Movie:

After being fired from his job as newscaster, Bruce is driving and begging God for a sign. As soon as the word "sign" is spoken, a truck full of signs pulls out in front of them. Several of the signs are saying such things as: caution, construction, do not enter. Instead of looking at the signs, you hear him say, "What's this joker doing?" then proceeds  to speed around the vehicle, only to find a road block.

My Mind:

This was where my mind started spinning. I couldn't help but think about how often we ask for a sign, but are rarely patient enough to wait for it, or if it's the sign we don't want, then we ignore it  completely. Then we wonder why we ran into a road block.

Movie:

After having a heated conversation with God, Bruce's beeper keeps going off. The same number, time and time again. After throwing his beeper through the window, and a car...or two...running over it, destroying it, he hears it going off in the middle of the street. He then decides to call the number. When he does, he is instructed to go down to a building for a "job interview". Once inside of the building and to the floor he needs to be, all he sees is a room of white with a ladder in the middle. Above the ladder is a whole with someone working. God (played by Morgan Freeman) asks if the light he just repaired is working right, the light turns on and blind's Bruce.

(This is essentially what you see in the movie)

My Mind:

As soon as I saw the light, followed by the look on Bruce's face, my mind recalled the times when I read something, hear something, or see something that make me have one of those "Duh" moments. This time I thought, man how often does God's truth shine so brightly that we feel like we're blind to anything else? 

Movie:

After being told that he had God's power, Bruce decides to try out his "powers" while he's eating lunch. Now, I don't want to focus as much on Bruce's actions, but on a fellow diner that was watching him. First his looks start out due to curiosity then they turn to disbelief and finally the final look...the one of I'm getting away from him, he's WEIRD.

My Mind:

Often, when we act differently (like we're called to do as followers of Christ anyway) we often get these same looks. You know the ones...the ones that tell you exactly what the other person thinks of you. Honestly, we should get looks like that, because it means we're living right. It means we're living according to God's word instead of according to the ways of the world.

Movie:
During Bruce's first newscast, chaos begins to break out everywhere around him. As they're getting ready to cover the story, Bruce realizes that his taste of God's power has caused this. He then decides that he needs to go meet up with God, he bails out of the newscast saying "Ladies and Gentleman, possibly the biggest news story we've ever covered and...I've got...to...go." At that moment he realized that he couldn't do anything right without God.

My Mind:

When I saw that scene, I couldn't help but think about the time when we first come to the all consuming knowledge of God's abounding, unlimited love. When we realize that the only way we can do anything for this world is with His help. The day we allow Christ to become the savior of our lives.

Side Note:

Throughout the entire movie, we see what happens when a mere human gets a taste of God's power, or even a false sense of power. We tend to use it for our own good and then we become astonished when everything falls apart. 

You gotta love those random moments that actually help and bring revelation as opposed to just being silly.

Jesus--in my life

Sometimes when I tell people the ins and outs of my life, they look at me in disbelief. After that, they'll look at me and ask:

"And you keep coming back, why?"

Nine times out of ten, they're not talking about going back to a location. Rather, they are talking about going back to my faith in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. 

Those that knew me through the hard times, would have never guessed anything was going on. I had learned (quite well) how to bury my problems. All they ever saw was a smile, it was a genuine smile, because when I left the areas that were causing the problems, I left all the problems and side-effects there as well. 

After I was able to get out of the situations permanently, then I began to share about what was going on. Probably because I felt safe, like there weren't going to be any repercussions for telling someone about it. I can't count the number of time when someone asked why I hadn't told someone, anyone what was really going on. My answer was always the same, but it was (and is) always true. I simply said, "I was managing everything."

About a year ago, I was sharing my story with one of my dearest friends. She'd known me since I was eight, but didn't know the realities of some of the things I grew up with. When I got done, her honest questions still sticks with me. Probably because it was slightly different then most, yet still had similar meaning. She said:

 "How are you able to still smile today?"

Like I said, a different question. This time, I looked at her and gave a different answer. After-all, I felt a different question deserved a different smile. I told her this:

"When I look back on my story, I look at what I went through, but then I look at how bad it could have been and what God protected me from, and can't help but be grateful."

So back to the title, what has Jesus looked like in my life? He's been my constant support. He's been my only faithful friend. He's been the primary source of acceptance. Jesus has been the ONE thing that has always, and I mean ALWAYS kept me going.

Jesus is the reason I am here today. Had it not been for Him and His protection, who knows where I would be today.

This challenge came to me after Lisa shared what Jesus is for her. If you'd like to join in on the challenge to write about who Jesus is to you, please do. Even if you just write it in a journal and never share it, or if you decide to share it that's great. If you decide to do as I did and share it on your blog, please leave a comment and let me know you did. I promise I'll visit, read, and encourage. 

Blessings friends.

Five Minute Friday: Remember...

It's been a while since I've participated. This week's been kinda hectic, so my Thirsty Thursday posts will hopefully resume next week. :)

If you remember, 5-Minute Friday's are when a group of us gather at Lisa-Jo's place and write on the same subject. We write...just write for 5 full minutes. We do not edit, nor do we worry about word-age. This week's prompt is: Remember.

My Five Minutes Begins 

Now

What do I think of when I hear the word remember? I think of memories. Many of my memories growing up aren't the best. My life has had many curve balls thrown at it. Through it all, I've managed to make it through, in one piece...physically anyway.When I remember the things I went through, I can see where bits and pieces of my heart stayed in those tough situations. 

Sometimes when I sit and think, I find that I am kicking myself, often over things that were out of my control. Other times, I look back and can't help but smile. Smile over the people I've met. Smile over the situations that brought me together with some of my closest friends. Smile because the pain is over. 

Then suddenly I remember the real reason that I made it through in one piece. Had my God not swooped in and given me the strength to make it through each day, there's no way I would be where I am today. I remember that it's because of His faithfulness, His grace, and His love that I was able to smile through the roughest of times.

Sometimes memories are all that keep us going. Other times they remind us of what we've made it through. Often, however, they remind us of where we never want to go again.

Tell me friends (either here or on your blog) What comes to your mind when you hear the word:

Remember

Stop

Whispers

I've come to a road block...at work. It's hard being (1) the only dedicated Christ follower, (2) raised with a different perspective on things, and (3) continue to stand for what I believe is right.

I've been at my place of employment for just over 6 months. Starting (officially) this week I am now a full-time associate working 1p to 9p Monday through Friday instead of only working 8a to 8p on Saturday and Sunday. I started filling in the open spot last week (for the most part) and it went all right. This week, however, not the same story.

I've been finding it extremely difficult to succeed in the three things I listed above. While I am succeeding, I am not enjoying the work as much as I did before. I highly doubt that it's because I see the clientele more, but because of a particular associate I see more often. Up until this point she ran the shift. The other associates would just bend to seeing things the way that she did, and would just go along with it. I, however, will not do that, and it bugs the crap out of her.

While the fact that I am not allowing myself to be sucked into this IS a step in the right direction, I am having a hard time rejoicing over it because it is so tense at work. Even if I would bring up to her my thoughts on how I thought things were going, it would quickly turn into an argument, and the guys we work with don't need that, and shouldn't have to deal with it.

So, all I can do at this point is to pray. Pray for my heart, pray for hers, pray that God just keeps my mouth shut so that He can do the work that needs done, and prayer for the guys, that they won't feel the tension that I feel. Pray that either the situation between her and a boss mends, or that the person above my boss will realize the problems and agree to let her go. Whichever happens, it's going to be a waiting game.

I say this not to get pity or to get "atta-girl", but to get it out. If I kept this in then it would be harder for me to effectively do my job.

This morning God did grant me a revelation though, as I was talking to a fellow sister-in-Christ, I felt these words come to my heart:

"Remember, My daughter, you are going back to church this Sunday. You have an enemy who wants to bring you down as much as possible so that you will be distracted when worship gets there. Take this in stride, all things come to an end in My time, not your timing, my dear one."

Don't you just love the gentle whispers when He could have very well used a 2X4 instead? I know I prefer the whispers...I hope I can remember this in the midst of my shift tonight. 

Appropriately enough, this is said to me in the confines of my bed room. On the wall of my bedroom I have a shadowbox that my mother-in-law gave me that says: "Let us be silent so that we may hear the whisper of God." 

Well, I'm off to get ready for work. I hope God blesses your day abundantly and that following Him, instead of others, will be the first choice for each and every one of us.