Grace for the Good Girl Chapters 3 and 4

Chapter 3

Okay, this chapter floored me. Each and every sentence I read, I thought that Emily was talking about my life. In every area. With that being said, here are the parts that jumped out at me.

Colors mean:

• Quotes from the Book
• My add-ons
• My Story

"As a girl who accepted Jesus at a young age, I couldn't relate. In fact, I admit to sometimes wishing I had a few years of rebellion under my belt. Then my story would be interesting and dramatic too."

There are a couple years that I consider my "rebellion". Even though, in today's society it didn't look like what most would consider a rebellion. I didn't party at a young age, I didn't drink an ounce of alcohol until 3 weeks before I turned 21. I didn't get caught up in doing drugs. I wasn't sleeping with anyone and everyone. 


So what was my rebellion? When the first semester of college was coming to an end, I had decided to come home for good (there's a story there, which I'll tell later). Kevin and I had been together for about 2.5 years and had just gotten engaged. He'd been living on his own for several months now, and we decided to just have me move in together. 


Moving in together included everything (everything) that came along with living in the same apartment--in the same room. No matter how many times we denied it, we fell into the oh so common area of sin that most people in a relationship fall into. We fell into the area of sexual sin. This is the first time I've been able to honestly admit it to more than a select few people, because I was trying to maintain my good girl reputation. After all "I put a lot of confidence in myself and in my good reputation."

"I believed my role in the family was to be the good girl, the one who never got into trouble, the one with the admirable reputation. I had an overwhelming compulsion to confess to my mother [everything except what my true actions were between the time I came home from school and the time Kevin and I got married...even though everyone assumed it was true.] I remember sitting next to her knowing I couldn't carry the burden of my disobedience any longer..."

"I was a good girl desperate for male attention. It  could have been because I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father, or it could have just been because I was human." [And I thought I was the only one who grew up in this situation.]

"...the good girl is in deep danger of being her own compass rather than having a softened heart to the leading of God as he speaks through his Word, friends, or family members. I'm sure I've disregarded these things due to the fact that I was doing all right on my own, so I figured I had it all figured out. 

"The thing about bloggins is you get to put your best foot forward. You get to edit and delete and ponder before you actually say anything. You get to manage your own reputation." That and it's easier to admit mistakes because you don't have to see the initial reaction of those reading when you do make a mistake.

 "Character refers to who you are. Reputation refers to who people think you are."

 [About Jesus] "Knowing there were peopole who disagreed, even hated him, didn't cause him to change one thing he did. He wasn't working to maintain a good reputation. He was walking in dependence on his Father. Jesus didn't value what people thought; he valued people, period.

 Chapter 4


This chapter is mainly about the term "fine" and how we often, too often, hide behind it. This was another powerful chapter.

"However, many good girls have a natural disposition of sweetness that can morph into a mask of false happiness and steal authentic joy that comes from the Lord." I've felt this struggle my entire life.

"I was a human chameleon and I didn't even know it." This can describe a good portion of my child/teenage years.

"I can't tell you how many times I have stood dumbfounded and wimpy in the middle of a heated discussion only to tell the person off while alone in my car on the way home. I sound so tough alone in my car. 

 "There is no place in the Bible where it says emotions are categorized as right or wrong [good or bad]. Still, for a good girl in hiding, it feels risky to be honest about them. [Especially when she grew up with a step-parent who got angry and punished at any sign of emotion]. Honest could ruffle feathers. Honest could reveal differing opinions. Honest could disrupt your perception of me. Honest could ruin my carefully laid-back image. That is the image we care about the most.

"The longer I hide behind fine, the easier it is to convince myself I am fine. I can coast that way for a while, until I start to get cranky and irritable and cross." 

"Good girls don't like that our Bible says there is a time to hate and a time for war. So we take it out." --no matter how many times I read this in Ecclesiastes, I almost always skim over the bad and focus on the good sides of it, never really made sense to me until now.

"Our fluctuating humanness is there on purpose, to remind us of our need to draw us to the One who can meet it. We don't have to figure out the whys and origins of every swinging emotion. But it is important that we admit that they are there."

 Are you a good girl? Or do you think you are? Have you started reading Grace for the Good Girl? If so, feel free to share your thoughts. If not, I'd encourage you to do so and please, feel free to share your thoughts on this post. :)