While acting forgiving came easily, I'm discovering more and more that it was just another mask I was wearing. After all I've been fully convinced that forgiving (or at least the portrayment of) is what she, the good girl, would do.
We all have this image in our head of who/what the perfect Christian looks like. For me she: loves perfectly, ALWAYS forgives, serves others selflessly-consistently-faithfully, works while maintaining a spotless home, forgives easily and often, hosting frequent Bible studies, and on and on.
Maybe for you she looks like this too, maybe she looks completely different. That's okay because we're not all the same. We're not meant to be the same.
For me, the shift in my life, the area of focus He's honed in on is the forgiveness in my heart--or lack there of. This realization is a hard one for me because I never, never, never saw this area that I had issues in.
Not only had I convinced everyone else that I was a forgiving person, I had convinced myself too.
When did we get so good at pretending to the point that even we believe the act?
Can I challenge us today? Is there an area God's asking us to identify as less-than-stellar and then allow Him to really work on it. Allow Him the power to remold our mind into a mind like his? To teach you to ____________ just as He would?
If there is, friend, might I prompt you to spend some time talking WITH Him about it?
If you need someone to walk the road with you, please don't hesitate to ask. You can reach me by e-mail (godsbeloved110@yahoo.com), here, or here. If you want a community to connect with and to join us imperfect followers in pursuit of Him, I encourage you to jump over here and join us.
Let me remind you friend, no matter what your struggle, you are not alone. That you are loved and deserve to be loved. That you can find grace and acceptance.
Peace be with you friends.
Thanks for sharing your heart Amy! Forgiveness is hard, the deeper the hurt, the harder it is. My struggle is with worry and patience:) Enjoyed visiting here today:)
ReplyDeleteIt's been around 4-5 years ago that I asked God to expose the deep things in my heart that even I was unaware of. And...He did. Ouch. And double ouch. "When did we get so good at pretending to the point that even we believe the act?" I totally got that statement. God showed me three words that I had pretended I didn't have. But I really did. Oh, man...it was rough. But I came clean and now I can spot it when it starts to sneak back around. The bible says our hearts can be 'deceitfully' wicked. Those 'masks' are tricky lil' buggers. Awesome, awesome post.
ReplyDeleteThere is so much that He is working on me about, but the centrality of it is pride and selfishness...
ReplyDeleteIt is embarrassing to me that my new tagline is "learning to live like Jesus loved" when my heart is so incredibly wicked...
But it is a process, right friend?
You bless me -- this was an excellent post, and thank you for linking to me. That was an outright gift. *hugs*
Oh Christina, if there's anything I've learned on this journey, it's been that if He's walking me through something, helping me work through something, there's bound to be someone who is, has, or will be going through the same thing and will need someone who "gets it." Thanks for stopping over. :)
ReplyDeleteOh friend, it's like weekly that He's been bringing something up for us to work on, something that spiritually needs to be toned up or cut out completely. It's definitely going to be a life-long process, but it's one I'm grateful to be on...no matter how hard. Thanks for stopping over friend!
ReplyDeleteMere! Your post has kinda stuck with me...(if you couldn't tell). Hey, tag lines aren't necessarily supposed to be something that we have completely figured out. :D I think of them more as a goal, where we want this journey together to end up.. I've been thinking about toying with mine a little bit. We'll see where he leads.
ReplyDeleteI love you friend. *Hugs* back to you.