If we're honest

Lately a song with this title has been playing on the radio. It quickly became one of my absolute favorites. The anthem I want to be true in every relationship I have.

Listen to it here and then come back:If we're honest

Francesca Battestelli does such an amazing job conquering this subject. The message, so raw. The concept, so simple. The action, not so easy. The reality, so scary.

Finding people who are honest is hard to do anymore. In fact, those who pride themselves on it, typically go about it in an off putting manor.One that looks very much like the world in which we are called to live in, but look nothing like.

Repeatedly, the claims of being real and honest come. When we sit and chat, we find out that yes, they are those things, but the truth, realness and honesty is rarely done from a place of love, grace and wisdom.

Striving to live a life completely real is brave. However, living a real life requires more than just saying everything and anything on one's mind to anyone and every one around. Quite frankly, there are people who are not in the place (mentally, spiritual, emotionally) to be able to handle it at that time.

The best way to live an honest, real and open life is to do so from a mindset of constant prayer. By asking God for the wisdom to speak what needs to be said, as well as when and how to say it, we set ourselves up for a much better reception from the person we're talking to. Only the Holy Spirit can confirm when another spirit is primed for this type of communication.

I have both made the mistake of speaking just to be heard, right, or just to simply have the last word as well as waited for the right words, at the right time, from the right place (of mind and heart). I can tell you, the latter is always more satisfactory. Not just for the one speaking, but for the one who is on receiving end.

I challenge you, as you go about your day, week, month and so on to consider this before speaking:

For me, this tells me that one sign of maturity is speaking the truth. More than that, though, it's doing so as Christ did. Not to be right, not to prove a point, but with all the love and concern for the other person's growth as primary goal.

As I mentioned before, I have done both ways. Speaking just to speak, but also waiting for the Spirit to lead me to speak. Case and point with my accountability partner, there have been times when my words made her mad because I was just speaking without thinking. On the other side, there are times that she says she's mad, but it's because the words resonated with her spirit and often times confirmed what her spirit had been telling her. Typically the latter falls on a perceptive heart and she comes back grateful.

Friends, I challenge you. In all of your relationships, pray first (for as long as you need to) before speaking. One of the most effective methods I have found is praying that if it is indeed something that needs said, that God himself give you the words. On the flip side, if it's something that doesn't need said and will only add insult to injury that God put his hand over my big mouth. For often it's better to say nothing at all and just let the topic rest until the Spirit prompts.