Last night I lay in bed. Heart heavy. Hurting because the one I wanted to see so badly wasn't there with me. Could have been, but wasn't.
As I lay there, I'm crying out, "Why does it affect me this way when I don't see him? Why does it hurt so badly? Why does it feel like my heart is about to implode when I don't get the time that I feel is needed? Why? Why? Why?" I lay there, restless, sobbing, hurting, sulking, pouting, throwing a temper tantrum, ect.
In the middle of it, I hear a calm, powerful, stern yet comforting. "Now you know how I feel when you say you're gonna spend time with Me, but get distracted by other things." Ouch!
Very few times have I heard an audible voice like that. Twice (including this). Both times, it has been something huge. Something life-changing. Goal oriented. Something very practical. Something tangible.
I find it amazing how, in the midst of angst and choas, God will swoop in like that. Often times, He'll turn our hurts and healings, pain and recovery, sorrows and joys, wins and losses, into a task, a life-style change, a goal for us to reach that is very tangible. Not only will he make it tangible, but if we ask Him, and seek Him, He will help us reach that goal.
I wish I could say that when I heard that statement, I immediately flipped my Bible out and started to read. If I'm honest, though, I tried. For all of two seconds. I tried. I kept allowing myself get distracted by the fact that I didn't get what I wanted when I wanted. I didn't get my way.
So often we allow ourselves to get swept up in the busyness of life that we forget to seek Life that is out of this world. We go about on our own strength and understanding, rather than preparing myself at the start of my day seeking the Strength and Wisdom I need for the day.
As I go about my days, I pray He continues to reveal Himself to me like He did last night. No matter how painful, I know that His directions will do nothing but help me thrive, to be a better vessel for him.
This one sentence, I hope will change my perspective on how I go about my day. I plan to remind myself to equip my heart, soul, mind, body, emotions with Him. I strive to keep my perspective and focus on my Father. I hope you'll join me.
I hope you'll take a few minutes to listen to this song by Audrey Assad. It's called Show Me:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9b5Snkw18Lg&feature=relmfu
Lyrics to the song as you listen:
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ReplyDeleteOh, how many times I've been there, friend. I'm glad you shared honest and real life here. :)
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