It's been time. Should have happened long ago.
I'm done trying. I'm done striving. I'm done working harder than most see only to keep slipping backwards.
I'm done piloting. I'm done constantly worrying. I'm done trying to make everything happen. I'm just done.
It's not that I'm going to quit. I'm not giving up. Not at all. Rather, I'm going to start living.
If I'm so busy trying to make things work, if I'm working
just to barely make ends meet, if I'm doing things just to say I've accomplished something, I've lost sight of all that matters.
It's time I stop working to make a life and start living the life I've been blessed with.
I know that when I stop focusing on all the trivial issues that living in this world brings in my path and begin to focus on the One who put me on this path, things will dissipate. It will work out. I know it's true. I've seen it happen. I've experienced it first hand. Why then do I always fall into this pattern.
It doesn't work when I decide to take the pilot's seat. Honestly, it doesn't even work when I'm in the co-pilot's seat. It only works when I give the seat up to the One who knows the destination intended for me.
The reigns aren't mine to hold. Boy does it feel good to have them at first. Then something changes, somehow I end up in a desolate, deserted area. Searching. Panicking. Frazzled.
Then I hear it. It's in the distance. It's faint. As I turn toward the sound it begins to get louder. Then I take a step in that direction. With each step it gets a little clearer. Before long I see something in the distance. That's when the running starts. As I get closer I feel the peace over take me. I feel the freedom of being back on the right path. I feel the joy of knowing that He has my path planned for me.
It is only up to me to not let go of His hand. If I remain with God, I will succeed. The trials will still be there , but He will fight for me. I just need to clamp on to my Protector with all I am.
Because I know, in the end, He will win it all.
With all that has come and gone, it's time for rediscovery. This place is a step toward doing so. Time to rediscover the Lover of my soul. Rediscover the draw writing has always had on my heart. Rediscover who I am and have been made to be despite anything life throws my way. In this place we will do real, we will do fresh, we will do life-real life-together.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
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