Different feelings

The first week of December. The start to what is probably the busiest month of the year in our household. Between birthdays galore and holiday gatherings, it's been hard to remain focused on exactly what this season is about.

This year though.
It feels different.
For some unknown reason.

Typically the dread starts weeks ago. Sure, it felt like an impending certainty just lurking beyond. This year though, instead of coming in, overwhelming and smothering...it just dissolved.

The dread isn't hanging around my neck, waiting to drag me down to the deepest of depths. In it's place is joy. Joy coming from the faintest spark has begun to engulf more of me. Little by little it started. It's still slowly creeping, beginning to take hold of more and more.

Perhaps, for the first time in a long time, I'm seeing it through a kids perspective. Our almost 5 year old is a Christmas baby. It's radiating out of him this year. More than normal. And it is infectious.

Every Christmas song he hears, he instantly knows. Each decoration is pointed out and announced, as if he had hung them himself. All the little details that usually go unnoticed by me, brought to life. Given a new excitement. Watching the joy and excitement in his eyes, has lifted some of the dust off of mine.

This year, too, our focus has been different. Instead of where we need to go and when, it's been on what will be best for us and the kids. Focusing on family over the typical demands. Enjoying the small moments when we're urrounded by love.

So far this season, I've learned that focus on what really matters, makes all the difference.