My mind some days

The other day I was talking to a friend on the phone after my doctors appointment. This last appointment was the big one. We found out that we have a little boy on the way! I remember saying that I didn't really have a preference so long as the baby way healthy. I chatted with my friend for a few more minutes before hanging up.

When I hang up, Mom mentions that she had a friend who used that same phrase while she was pregnant. Then when she had the baby it turned out to be a child with down syndrome. She went on to tell me that said friend then felt extremely guilty for telling people that the sex didn't matter as long as the baby was healthy.

Then a question popped into my head as I was driving a little later on. Maybe it's my line of work. Perhaps it's one of my good blogging friends who has a special needs child. Then again, it could be because of my cousin's very adorable 2.5 year old with downs. But I couldn't help to think: Why do people think a disability makes someone unhealthy? 

Does someone who have special needs typically have more challenges? Medical demands? Need more time spent on them? Sure. Having special needs does make things more complicated (i.e. more doctors appointments, surgeries, medical attention, ect). As well as makes life harder on a consistent basis. However, when it comes to those with special needs, I have a hard time as labeling them as unhealthy.

Perhaps it's because I've taken the time to get to know many who have some sort of special needs. Honestly, they have been some of the most healthy people I've known. Sure, maybe they're a little awkward in social settings...but maybe that's because they tend to be so open, accepting and completely brutally honest.*

Many times, the world hasn't been able to condition these sweet beings as it has those of us who don't have a mental, physical or emotional disability. Often we find it hard to be accepting of people no matter their look, beliefs, ect. Yet for most of them, it's easier for them to adapt to new people. When we find it so hard to speak simple truths, they (if verbal) rarely hold back. The list could go on and on.

Perhaps, instead of looking at those with special needs as being unhealthy, we can look at them and think "what can I learn from this person?" Maybe even attempt to connect or get to know those people, their lives, their personalities, their challenges, their achievements (after all many of them have more than we do), ect.

*Keep in mind these statements are generalizations and observations from my experience. I do realize that not everyone with special needs are like this. I don't say these things to offend anyone nor to condemn anyone. I say them to simply share my point of view when it comes to having a disability (no matter mental, physical, emotional) in reference to being unhealthy.

When the rapids surprise

What can I say, there has been a lot of chaos the last couple weeks. Even with all the chaos, I have seen how in the end, so long as I have my faith planted in Him, I will have enough.

Sometimes in this life, people will let us down. Other  times, it will be circumstances around us that attempt to bring us down. Or stress, fear, worry and anxiety will try to sink us. But even when the rapids hit, we can be assured that He is more than enough to provide the strength for us to make it to the other side.

Whenever we take a step in His direction, He gives us strength that is big enough to overcome our obstacles.

Then when we clear the rapids, while we may be exhausted and feel like we've been beaten down in every possible way, we can look back and see how even if it didn't feel like we had enough strength, faith, or peace, we'll see that He gave us more than enough. Sometimes this comes through encouragement from good friends. Other times it comes from a simple song.

**On Fridays I like to join up with tons of others over at Lisa-Jo's place. We write for five minutes flat. Writing without worrying about it being just right or not. Just allowing our heart to spill out for five minutes of unedited writing. Will you join us?

Martha 2.0

So often I think that Mary gets the title of the good sister. The one who got praised for her choice. The question we addressed more was, what about Martha? Sure maybe she missed the point when we first met her. What about the other times we see her.

The next time we see Martha is after her brother Lazarus dies. When Jesus arrives, instead of asking him "where were you?" she simply confesses that she knows He has the power to resurrect the dead.

In this third situation, we see Martha doing what she does best, serving. Not only that, but we see how her heart has changed. Again, Mary comes in worshiping Jesus in her own way. This time, Martha doesn't react as she did before, she just continues to to serve and allows Mary to express herself the way she was built.

So my question is this, if you typically identify with Martha, are you willing to follow her suit? Are we willing to look at the gifts He has given us, and grow into our own gifts? Or would we rather sit back and wish we had the talent that someone else has?

For me, I want to be the type that is moldable. I want to be the wife that God wants me to be. I want to be the daughter that He originally created me to be. The sister that my siblings need. Become the mom that follows His parenting style over the worlds ideas of parenting.

So how about you? How are you going to embrace the giftings he has given you?

Call me crazy...

So if you've been following my posts both here and over at Must Love God* recently I've posted a few times on my one word for the year. Today I had the crazy thought to look across the wonderful tool called the internet to see what others were saying about life after baby. Hence the call me crazy.

As I'm reading this article my eye lands dead on number 15:

Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

I couldn't help but think that maybe that's what this crazy journey to finding the meaning of limitless for my life could be all about. Learning what limitless love looks like in order to understand and display what His love looks like in my life?

It's sure to be an exciting ride.

*if you haven't popped in over here yet...I'd encourage you to. It's a great place of love, encouragement, and support in any season of life you might be in. It's made up of people a lot like you. Broken, searching, confused,  fallen, all while trying to discover what God's purpose is for their life.

86. Salt water taffy
87. Project 345
88. First movements
89. Air conditioning
90. Journaling
91. Dinner with friend
92. Baby steps
93. Peace with decisions
94. Finishing Power of a Praying Woman
95. Starting Power of a Praying Wife
96. New pillows
97. New water bottle
98. Prenatal Vitamins
99. Music that finds the words I couldn’t
100. 31 Days to Pray for Kevin
101. Lies Women Believe
102. Cuddling on our oversized chair
103. Openness with friends I’ve known a short time
104. New shared hobbies with Kevin
105. Hand me downs from friends

*Linking up with hundreds of other bloggers over at Ann's place. Join us.

Sweet Grace {CMA}

This past week has been sooo full of ups and downs. Emotional highs and emotional lows. Some steps forward, some steps back.

With all the emotional ups and downs comes a lonliness. Not by anyone else's doing, but by my own. Afraid to reach out too much, and risking the feeling of being too needy. But at the same time, so desperately longing for the connection in hopes that it will help the cycle.



Does anyone else out there feel like they're just going around and around in circles? Making progress in some areas while back sliding in others?

Yeah, I'm there too... 

Last week I posted on growing limitlessly, and unfortunately I can't say it's felt like I've been succeeding at doing  so.

I realized this week that the whole "maintaining activeness"...well yeah, that hasn't happened like I was hoping. While most days work keeps me active, I don't make the effort to continue being on my feet and moving when at home.

When it comes to emotional and mental health, I've had more bad days than good days with this. Raging hormones has made it hard for me several days this week. Between breakdowns for over absolute nothing, being uber sensitive, and getting very, very, very worn out due to a couple stressful weeks at work, those three combined have made living healthy in both emotional and mental states lately.

Spiritually I haven't quite found something that works for me...not just yet. I have looked into a few different options for me, and started something today that I'm hoping will work well.

So this week, I feel like I've backslid more than I've gone forward.
So this week, I am extremely thankful for the grace He gives.
So this week I am thankful for John 1:16-17:

For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.

 Had it not been for the law that Moses gave, we wouldn't understand how desperately we need the grace that came through Christ's sacrifice on the cross.**

With that said, this week I will cling to grace when I fail rather than stewing on the failures. I will do as Cassie says I will stop looking at the big picture, and start taking things one bite at a time. Will you join us?

On Thursdays, we join together to help each other stay accountable for our goals.

So how is your week going?  Have you been living purposefully?

We invite you to join with us in community, finding accountability for all types of things.  Are you struggling in specific areas or just in general need someone to cheer for you?

Let us know how you’re doing…by either linking up a post from your blog or simply leaving a comment!!!
(Click on link above to link up with us!)

Limitless Growing {CMA}

Yesterday marked 16 weeks into this life long journey. I will have my next appointment and will be 4 weeks out from the all telling ultrasound. The information that I didn't want to initially know. The ultrasound to discover if we will have a son or a daughter come December. This also means we are 4 weeks away from the half-way point...seems unreal.

During these next several months I have a lot, I mean a lot, of growing to do in all areas: Physically-to better support the growing of our little one. Emotionally-attempting to learn not to give into the hormonal jumps that come along with pregnancy. Mentally-hopefully learning how to navigate this journey without totally losing a sense of self...or my mind (which some would say it was already too late for that one, haha). Spiritually-in these times of ups and downs I need to relearn why my constant walking with my God is so vital. 

My goals for the physical aspect of life still haven't changed a whole lot. I am still trying to eat the healthier choices. As I know that will be not only what's best for me in the long run, but also it is what helps ensure a strong, healthy little one. I still try to be active, but not to the same extent I was before. I'm doing more maintaining activeness then "lets lose this weight" activeness...no that will come back after Christmas.

The goals for emotional/mental well being are both being aware of my mental/emotional/hormonal state in order to avoid melt downs and/or blow ups. As well as admitting when I had one and apologizing for snapping on any one (this may or may not have happened a few times already). Also to watch my patience level while at work. I've been finding myself more and more agitated, not completely sure why, at the continual, day-in-day-out monotony that my job can be some days.

Now for the spiritual. This has been the goal I've been most lacking in. I think in the first trimester I used exhaustion as an excuse...a lot. I have started several quiet time studies in the past couple months but haven't followed through with them. My hope/plan/goal is to start and finish a Women of Faith study on God's love. I figured the best place to find examples of exactly what unconditional love looks like is to study the One who showed the ultimate display of love...right?

 So there we have it. I am shooting to write up dates each week with the CMA posts over at Must Love God. Is there any area(s) of struggle in your life right now? The ones you've been dealing with on your own for a time, but just cannot seem to shake it? If so, please join us in the fight to getting healthy. That's what our Count Me Accountable Thursdays are all about.

How can I be of assistance to you in this journey?

Still haven't found it...

Back in the fall of '07, I found myself rolling into a new life at a Christian university that was a half hour from home. I had high hopes and big expectations as to what college life was going to hold for me. I mean, come on, I had a great boy friend at home who supported my going down there, I had a few friends from high school who were going down there as well, and I was pursuing a degree in a field I loved.

Not only that, I was going to be roommates with a girl from West Virginia whom I'd never met. When the school year started we were inseparable, got along very well, and had a lot in common. To make a long story short, it was probably the worst semester ever. After several weeks I quickly realized that I didn't fit in as well as I thought I would. Nor did my roommie and I get along as well as we had in the beginning. The classes were good, but not as good as I had been looking forward to. I was finding myself very home sick very quickly.

Even with all that negativity surrounding my experience, there is one lesson in one of my classes that sticks with me still today. The teacher (one whom I didn't like too much) took a secular song and gave it a deeper meaning that we might not have noticed at first, but is definitely there. First, I want you to listen to the song.



After listening to it, can you guess what the deeper meaning is? My guess is yes.

The writer of this song describes the lengths that he went to in order to find that one thing that would make him complete. After all his searching, all his trying, all his mind power the writer still wasn't able to find that one thing to satisfy him completely.

What if instead of trying so hard to find that one thing he would have taken time to sit, be still, listen, study and wait for his Creator? Maybe then he could have found that One Thing that would have made him whole.

What about you? When you feel like something is missing, what do you do to find that peace that only comes from the One who can satisfy that longing?